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Good Morning!

Here I am sitting at the desk, while my whole house shakes more like vibrating but nonetheless it is rather unsettling to say the least. The reason for it is due to some construction going on up the street, but I believe it’s even more than that. I believe it is trying to tell me something about myself, I need to shake things up and because I haven’t really been able to the world is going to do it for me.

Last night we went out for a walk around town and found a few more beautiful spots to enjoy mother nature and the heaven we currently live in and among… we chatted about the book I had been reading and finished yesterday as well Peace from broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant and my own experiences and some of my writing from yesterday. Really i think I just counsel myself and give myself advice as if I was at the therapist office. Sometimes I don’t think he’s really listening to me. Not sure if it’s intentional or just by habit, of course I find it rather annoying but I love him anyways and he has his own stuff to deal with.

Anyhow I talked my way into the best advice ever and somehow it all made perfect sense and there was no fear. … I am just doing it plain and simple. I’m not waiting, I’m not asking anymore questions about it, I’m not creating this mound of excuses for why I can’t or shouldn’t live my life as I’ve always dreamed of doing. Everything just seemed so clear and I wasn’t afraid.

I am just going to start by talking with people. I already know how to do that and love doing it. I love to entertain so I could even have a few over to the house. It’s because of all my pain and experiences that I can relate to so many people, I’ve always known this and understood that purpose but have been too scared to really pursue it. Well not anymore. I am the leader I’ve always wanted to be. I am!

Only I can be all of these things I want to be. Up until this very moment I thought I had to wait for someone else to tell me what I could do or not do…. I know crazy but it’s a pattern I learned very early on. Or I also thought up to this moment that I had to learn someone else’s and if I did learn their love & passion for it then they would love me. I tell ya I’ve spent a lot of time doing things I really wasn’t very interested in but when you don’t know any better you can’t do any better.

Now there’s’ nothing wrong with learning new things if you truly have a desire for it in the first place. It is all about your intention.

So I am excited to say that I have finally figured out a really big piece of my puzzle, I can create the life I want and or always wanted by just doing it. A big smile comes over my face.

So here we go, I want to be happy and peaceful living a serene life. this is my wish & prayer for everyone else in the world as well.

I wish to be healthy, love being active and eating well. Enjoying the freshness that the world has to offer us. What a blessing we have, through the great divine – sunshine, water we have a bountiful amount of food to choose from. These are the foods I want to enjoy and savour. Being active even living outside and being aware. Love it.

I want to share this.

I want to be my best and that includes feeling good about how I look. Washing my face, brushing my teeth….I know it sounds really odd that this needs to be included but it does. I wasn’t raised with personal hygiene being a top priority. I learned I had to put myself last…

Interesting moment here right now, I believe I’ve been waiting for someone to put me at their top priority…..yes that’s it. As I felt like I didn’t matter a whole lot growing up, I searched in a lot of wrong places for others to treat me like their number one, because I couldn’t do it myself. If at any time I would have done that it would have been really frowned upon and it was made to look like I was showing up. Which was never a good thing either.

Now being an adult I can make these decisions for myself and not have to worry anymore on who is pleased or not. I like that freedom.

Other things I wish to accomplish now with my new found spirit is I want to share my story in anyway possible. I love to share the words with feelings and hopefully learn something new or just in a different way. I wish to travel, which will probably mean I will have to become a little more comfortable with flying and maybe even alone. nodding my head on the inside… I also want to teach, I want to teach life….. I know that sounds really odd, but there’s really other way to describe it. I want to teach others how to be comfortable with who they are and who they wish to be. Or another way of putting it would be becoming more of who they really are. Opening up the awareness, shedding some light onto it and walking through the darkness. We don’t have to be alone. I can be that friend that holds your hand, I can be that one who shows you how to cook, how to decorate, what to eat, or just having someone to vent your frustrations to. for so long in my life I’ve felt totally alone and that I was the only one who was going through this or that. When in fact there’s millions of us who are going through the same thing and would have loved for someone to be there saying you can do it and I’ll be right here with you to help you if you need it. What freedom that would be.

You need to go through the pain in order to give it away. If you try to avoid and go around it it’ll just keep coming back in another form until you get it. Just go through it. Their life is none of your business it’s God’s not yours.                         

When you are broken and are frozen
in fear among the cracks of your life.
It is in those cracks where faith resides,
in the cracks where you can see the light,
and where you can finally breathe.
In faith, light fills and repairs the cracks,
a rainbow appears in the tears of hope
with the love that’s in your heart.
You are never alone.
I too live in the cracks with the light,
in the Love with God.
You are never alone.

It’s through the brokenness that we live, we cannot stay preserved behind glass and live life. We must live among the cracks, let in some air, let in  the light. Why even focus on the brokenness? Instead put your focus on the space that is open now. The space where the light is, what if there’s nothing to put back together? No one is perfect, we are all broken and this is a good thing. Beware of the one who tells you to put yourself back together. I am telling you that with the grace of the divine, faith that we are all cracked, flawed so perfectly that we are all ‘normal’ there’s nothing wrong with you, with anyone. Be weary of  the one who tells you the opposite, they are denying their own flaws, their own cracks among their life and are trying to pass their fears onto you. You are loved just as you are.

Why do we focus on what’s being broken? Why do we fear breaking?
What if we are to focus on the space in between?
Love, life exists in the space among the light.
What if we are meant to live our life breaking things?
That is where the real beauty lives, that is where living a full life is all about.
If you could love the space in between the brokenness, and not be afraid of it.To not have to hide, to not have to wait for all the pieces to be healed but instead relishing in the glory of the light. This removes the fear of breaking things…this is what living out loud is all about.

Isn’t it time? Are you ready? I am.

When you do a renovation you must break things.

Who do we really think a hero is?

A hero comes home from fighting, or a long journey where he had to fight a dragon as the story goes.
A hero is someone who appears to fight something outside of themselves but really I believe it’s actually a fight that goes on inside of us.
When you can’t seem to get out of bed in the morning because you believe there’s nothing in this world for you. But when you step onto the floor you then become a hero.
Does a hero need to be holding a gun? Do they need to belong to a group that fights others?
What about when you want to say I love you but you’re not sure if the other person feels the same. To me that’s a hero.

Do we have to have trophy’s in order to be a hero?
What about working long shifts at work in order to be able to provide for your family, even though you know it’s not enough. You secretly think you’re a loser who can never do enough. Well you’re a hero. You go out every day and give it your best.
Coming home to your family when you were told you don’t work here anymore.
Then I go to some woman whom I know who can’t even hold a pen let alone a make up eye liner, they would never even try to come that close to their with anything sharp for fear of poking out their eyes.Because their eyes are the only way they know the world. Then I thought of another person I know who walking is a challenge and never being able run or walk along with those they love. I believe these woman to be heroes.

As you wake up in the morning and begin your day you look in the mirror and wonder where did that super hero go you had always wanted to be? Well believe me your kids believe you are that super hero.
But why don’t we celebrate the everyday hero?

A hero is someone who has courage that comes from within, the fight goes on inside us all. It’s the fight to believe that there’s more courage.
As I put on my make up to make myself feel a little better about myself and to have my man take notice of me I wonder who else is doing this? I wonder if anyone else has difficulty putting on the eye liner, trying to keep a straight line along my lashes. I believe that’s how it’s suppose to go anyways.
I then thought about woman I know and I would like to admit that I have been there myself, a time when getting out of bed seemed to be the greatest obstacle in life. However once that step is taken and the feet touch the floor you’re a hero. To the mom who takes the time to brush her teeth in silence, and look in the mirror wondering where the little girl went who dreamed of prince charming is a hero. For her prince charming now calls her mom.

To the woman who knows going to work every day means she might not be there for her children when they arrive home from school and a meeting runs late and they miss tucking them into bed. For you are the hero for sure, as your tip toe into the bedroom and pull up the blankets against their tiny little bodies, brushing their hair back whispering I love you.

To the woman who goes hungry because there’s not enough food in the house, you are a hero.
To the woman who doesn’t have children and is ok with that, you’re a hero because you’re able to speak and live in your truth.
To the woman as once myself who have lost children and now speak to as angels. You are a hero, you hold your head up when all you really want to do is lay down and cry and pray why?

We are all heroes, we all beat to the same heart. We all have lessons and challenges to go through hopefully with grace. But we are all the same, we are each others heroes, someone somewhere is looking to you for strength. I know it’s hard but try to remember that when those dark days come flooding your life.

You are a hero. xo

For many years now, I have been saying that I’m not in the Christmas spirit. I was a single a mother for 14 plus years and things were tough to say the least. Not knowing my own strength and believing I always had to get a job to survive is what I did. I was always able to make ends meet. Although that meant there was never anything left over. Which made me feel like a failure. There would be others around us who even added to this for me. Trying to give my son things that I just couldn’t afford. I was trying my best but always felt like I never did enough. Read more

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner” – Lao Tzu

It is so true. It has taken me most of my life so far to even be able to fully understand it. I have been searching and using everyone else in my life as an excuse for not being able to understand it and not being able to fully understand the need for my own self care towards myself. I have always looked to others to fill my cup. I have looked to others to make me happy. No wonder I hadn’t been in any good relationships. Well maybe just one, but he was a strong character and honestly, I would now call him a good sales person. He sold me on everything…until my heart got broke. I now realize  that it was just what I needed and today I am grateful for it all.  The other relationship, I would have to say, saved my soul in so many ways, is my child, my only son. He saved me from myself in so many ways, not sure if I even understand fully just yet how much. He’s my biggest blessing to date. He allowed me feel real love, to be able to give unconditional love. Read more

I have read a story/post about a group wanting prayers from a community for a woman who just found out that her husband has been cheating on her and that he didn’t love her anymore. Okay, granted it sucks… really bad. I’ve been there myself. Let’s be real, it’s hurts like hell.

Yes it happens, it happens more than we think. Most of us are too scared to really share it to to many for fear we look like failures. We only tell certain people, the ones who will give us what we need. For example if you’re seeking out sympathy, you would not go to a friend who is always strong and doesn’t need a man in her life to make it complete. That person would not fill that need. Instead you go to someone who will share your emotions and feed you the sympathy you’re seeking. Because really when you’re feeling down do you really want to be told to suck it up? Read more

Here are two blogs that explain why you should eat the colors of the rainbow.

http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/eat-the-rainbow-2/

http://www.forksoverknives.com/best-tips-for-storing-fruits-and-vegetables/

You MATTER and the World needs YOU!

Denise Hamel
Renovate Your Life

She never really wanted me, she was a teen when she found out she was pregnant with me. So like any teenager, you’re scared, you feel like you’re alone, and that all your dreams are over. You finally have someone/something to blame for things not going your way.

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May is Health Month here at Renovate Your Life.

This week is all about meditation.

I have been trying to practice this for years now. However what I have discovered is I’ve actually been doing it forever.
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