I was out for my daily walk today. When I go out for my walks I never listen to anything other than what’s around me. I listen to the birds and to be fully aware of my surroundings.
This morning while out I kept thinking I heard someone walking behind me. It’s winter here now and I could hear the snow, sand and salt being crushed beneath my feet as I walked on the streets. I also use walking poles to help with my posture and they make noise as well. I did not turn around as I didn’t want to disrupt my flow or fall and or twist my body. Also for some reason I find it difficult to make conversation with someone who’s walking behind you and if you don’t know them and maybe you don’t want to know either.
But also there’s this fear element and it did go through my mind. I could feel myself pick up my pace a bit. Not that I was in any danger, it was a residential street and I’m in a small town and it was day light. But my heart beat was just a little stronger which could of been from my new quickened pace. And then I calmed down and thought to myself and smiled. This is how I feel about my past.
You’re moving along in a new direction and feel confident, standing tall. Then out of no where you hear something, it distracts you and you end up putting all your focus onto the noise. The noise of your past. Sometimes I do what I did today…pick up my pace and keep moving ahead.
Yes, I have tried to out run my past Then there are times when I stop and face it. I tell it to leave me alone. Yelling only gets me more upset but yes I’ve done that too. There are times I’l have an actually conversation with it and try to see what it’s doing. What does it really want from me. Ignoring is another one but that’s for a very limited amount of time as it gets louder.
It’s sole purpose is to keep us alive and you’re reading this then it’s done a great job.
Accept it and thank it for doing such a great job.
Remember its only function is to keeps you alive, it means no harm. And it only goes on facts. It is the record keeper of everything imagined or not. Real or fake, it keeps it all; just to keep you safe.
In order to grow you have to provide new facts for your past. Keep moving and do what you’re heart desires., listen closely to those whispers for those are your creator speaking you.
Anyways this morning, I kept walking and eventually turned to verify a person was behind me but waited until I had to cross the street. And there was someone else and they were just walking home. as that is what we all are doing. But I so appreciated them walking home that way so I could have the material to write this piece.