The Loneliness Epidemic
Have your heard of this and do you think it’s a real thing today?
Here’s a theory I have. I believe it is a real thing and it’s scarey as heck. We are more disconnected than ever before but more disconnected from ourselves. Even though we have multiple ways of connecting, quicker, easier to just about anywhere in the world. But here’s the problem.

We don’t share authentically..and We have not caught up to the speed of technology yet.

Think back to when we use to take a picture. Typically it was a fancy thing and we had to go to a studio and have out portrait taken by a professional. We got all dressed up. Or your picture might of been taken by someone at a party, a special event. Then you had to wait for the pictures to be developed and once they came back to you. You went through them and would only showcase the good ones. 
Well we do the samething today, and we only show the good ones. Back in the day, we were living socially more open, we socialized more in person and stayed close to family etc.We knew what was going on, and what was happening in the neighbourhood.

Today this is not the case, we barely know our next door neigbours, Today we keep our doors locked and windows dark. Our families are not living near us at all and we only share time with them online or for special occasions.

I think this is why we have more crimes, more homelessness and on and on it goes. We care more in a way, and we have more ways of reaching out but less connections that are real.

We miss the perfect person behind the perfection we see everywhere. 
This is may even be why seeing a homeless person is difficult..we don’t know how to handle it and know that it could be us. They just couldn’t keep the mask up like the rest of us.

This month we are talking all things money. Where does it really go and how in the hell do we get more of? What is a budget and how to put things together. Also we’ll talk about the tough stuff. How do get out of debt and is filing for bankruptcy the only option. What happens after you do file.

It’s a new year and what better time than now to get your life back in order. Or is this really going to be the first time you will finally tell your money what to do instead of it just disappearing.
Too often we don’t know what our money is doing or where it goes. We just hold our breath until the next paycheck. But with employments options these days there’s nothing really secure even about that. Our jobs are not as secure as they use to be and things move pretty fast.

I have had plenty of money, saving, an emergency fund, investments and debt free but I have also been down and out where I was on government assistance and living off of hope and fear. Not able to purchase any gifts for Christmas. I’ve had to return items back to the bank because I wasn’t able to make my payments.

As with most things in life that seem to be embarrassing, we hide. We think we are the only one who is going through it. We think our problems will last forever, and then when we do get something good coming our way we feel fear that it may not last. It’s true nothing lasts forever but we can look in the right direction, we can set ourselves to succeed. We can set ourselves up to thrive and when we do fall down, learn from it and not allow it to destroy you. You don’t have to start all over, but you do have to start right from where you are.

Don’t be hard on yourself, together we can help one another. You are never alone. Money is important but there are more important things in life too.

I enjoy meeting lots of people and learning something new. it’s not my perfect way of spending my day, but it’ll come. As long as I keep my eye on the prize and stay prepared, when the opportunity comes I’ll be ready.

I really need to be more discipline when it comes to writing my book. I am a little overwhelmed when it comes to editing it. There seems to be a lot and I don’t want to make a mistake. I know that is all in my head but it’s one of my fears I am trying to face. I really need to face it head on. Lord help me.

I want to share my stories with so many other people. I understand others and can help them get through the tough challenges they are facing. You are never alone.

So how come when it comes to trying to help someone else go through their struggles I can be all there is to be. But when it comes to helping myself I feel like I am alone??? Seriously.

Last night I broke down a barrier a bit with my man and I shared how I was feeling and what I really wanted from him. But considering I had to ask  for it meant I didn’t want it right then. Because I had to ask and tell him what to do. I want to be with someone who knows what to do. How to give themselves to me. I know that really sounds selfish and it is. but why shouldn’t I be with someone who is selfless. There is taking care of yourself and then there is only taking care of yourself.

I am trying to find the balance for myself, because most of my life I’ve only been giving myself away to others and now it’s time to give back to myself. To fill my own cup.

When I’m down, who do I have to turn to for support? Do we ever really need anyone? I think so. I believe we need to reach out to others for that outside support. We are after all humans who require other human contact. In what form? I’m not too sure.

So we surround ourselves with those who are capable or not to fill this requirement. I’ve managed to eliminate everyone around me. I have managed to surround myself with no one. Nothing has really changed over the years. Before I was around others but they did not have my best interest at heart and didn’t know what I needed therefore we unable to give me anything. other than heartache. Now I’ve removed myself from these people and have only one person; my man and he’s unable to do it either. Am I asking too much for someone to love me? Am I really sending out all these mixed signals to him? Or is it that he’s not capable of giving me what I really want. I have explained it in great detail and he says he believes me and totally understands but when he needs something it’s as if he totally forgets everything that has ever been discussed up to that point. i am the nagging wife…..something I never ever wanted to be a part of. I never wanted to be. How did I get here? Why do I have to be the one who constantly reminds him of what I said yesterday, last week, last month, last year……. why?

I am really talking myself out of this fantasy I’ve created so delicately. How can this happen to me again? Or is it just my mind  playing tricks on me?  How do you know when you’re with that ‘perfect’ someone? Can you ever know for sure? I think it all comes down to feelings. The passion you have for this person, the way they make you feel. It has to be like that. Now I don’t believe you have this feeling all time, or do you? I am really struggling with this. I have so much to give. Maybe that’s it too, when you want to keep on giving even when it gets rough and you really are struggling but you still want to give. Is that the answer? How long do you keep this up however if it’s never being returned? 

I am not my past, I am not the little girl who cannot speak her mind, I am not that little girl who is scared to make someone upset by just being me.I am a grown woman, the woman I always wanted to be, the one I would dream about wishing I could be with a snap of my fingers. Well my wish is here.

If I were to go back to that place and be around those people who aren’t there for me now nor were they there for me before. It would slowly kill me again..  I am here in a much better place and I love me. I have never really said that before and meant it. But it feels good and I believe it.

I can honestly say right now that I am letting go of what there was in my past and I am opening myself up to the possibilities I have right here right now. I know I am able of great things. I’ve always known it but now I can actually see it coming true.

Remembering gratitude when you feel bad. 

In my heart of hearts I believe my son knows this as well. I know he desperately wants something better for himself, but he has to prove it to himself in his own way. I tried to protect him so much but making stronger and to believe in himself. We had to. I didn’t know any better. Today I do and I am working on me.

I have a loving man in my life, who didn’t go through the pain that I had went through, thankfully because really i wouldn’t wish that onto anyone. He supports me in the best way he can and he’s really good at it. I am blessed.

I have a healthy happy son who is learning to be really independent, just like I had taught him. Although I really wanted to be a bigger part of his life, I have to learn to trust what I taught him is serving him well. We are both learning more about ourselves these days. That’s why we are like this.

I have also 2 smaller children that are a big part of my life, what a blessing to be able to pass on the lesson’s I’ve learned so far. My husbands family shows love the way I had thought I had wanted, but nothing is perfect, so I am accepting what I am given as far as love goes. Blessings.

I know I’ve been living in my past fears on this pity train. I wanted people to love me for everything I’ve been through. I wanted others to be proud of the things I’ve overcome and being able to smile in the light of day. it’s been a struggle yes that’s for sure. But for those of us who truely overcome difficult times are those who do not dwell on it and sit in the soiled mess that was created when you didn’t know any better. When you were a baby you sat in your soiled diapers, not knowing that’s what you were doing, soon though you discovered it was uncomfortable and not enjoyable at all. You learned to get out of it and move on. You didn’t sit in it nor did you go on and on about how you use to sit in it and want others around you to feel sorry for you and say what a great joy you did.. You just did it.  I know not the best description for this but it really drives home the point. I am done with sitting in a mess and wanting others to experience the pain of being in such a mess. I am ready to put on my girl panties and be me the best I am.

Wow what a difference a few hours make, I am feeling tears trying to come up, not tears of pain, or sorrow but tears of joy. when the lows are low for me the high gets a little higher. I love it. Thank you. I can smile with gratitude in my heart and joy lurking around the corner. yippee. 

I am not my used diaper anymore. …yeah I ‘ll have to work on that one. It just doesn’t sound quite right.

When you think about it I’m really not that little girl anymore and I am really happy to have finally discover this. thank you.

Have you ever not been picked for a team or have you ever not had your idea heard?
Remember how that feels…That is how all the inspiring ideas you have feel.
They are a part of you and this bully inside your head gets its way all the time or so it seems.

Your hopes and dreams are there for a reason, they are part of your inner being. They live at your core and how do we treat them?When was the last time you actually listened to them? If ever?


I have heard mine for years but the bully always seems to get its way and shuts them down.
I like to think of myself as a kind compassionate person who loves to give everyone a break but I have yet to actually act on it myself.

I think it maybe time to let my dreams take the lead. It sure feels better when I do, my body dances with joy being allowed to just play. Creating is the normal, thinking outside the box. There’s no more talking, it’s all just singing, music fills my ears and love comforts me.

Yeah, again why haven’t I allowed them to come out and be heard? The opposite is no fun and it can actually be quite painful.How can we be addicted to the pain? Is that the way we believe we are actually alive?What bullshit that is. That is the way we have been controlled.. remember comply and protect.Enough already. I think I am wanting to hear what my dreams really have to say.

Are you listening to yours?

Good Morning Everyone.

Here I am here at the kitchen with my lap top  and a coffee and my man here with me. Things seem to be a little better, I think we are both present and aware. At least that is what I’m hoping for.

I am sore a fair bit from ……..well probably from being out of shape. I am working on changing this and that’s why I’m sore. I am walking more and more and working-which consists of me being on my feet for hours and then I’m doing yoga. Which all is good for me but it’s really different for me for now. It’ll get better the more I do it. I love how the body responds so easily.

I have to work later on today. I really do like working there. It’s such a good fit for me. I keep it moving.

Today just seems like one of those days when I can’t really pick a topic to talk about on here.

Outside it is foggy, very heavy… I can only see the houses across the street and no further. Not sure if it’s only here in town or everywhere just because we’re so close to the water. it’s a day where you put on soft music and light a few candles..maybe a little house keeping and stay warm. There’s a change in the weather coming. I can feel it. .All change is good, it’s not something to fear it’s something to embrace. And this I do. I love change. Even that that  I do not have control over I believe I do adapt fairly well with it. I love changing locations, this is why I move a lot. I like to have different experiences and meet new people. I am finally in a place where I feel like I could belong. There are so many others here who really enjoy life and see it for it can be and do it. I love that. Last night in fact we went over to a neighbours near us here and they rent out used ski equipment.. how brilliant. she’s been doing it for years and she enjoys it. We were able to outfit 4 people for under 150 dollars and it’s not really old stuff either.

I cannot seem to stay focused on anything right now. Arg.

Back again and this time I’m on the floor after finishing my meditation practise for today. Although I may do another one later on. 

The affirmation is I Expect and accept abundance to flow freely to me today. I really love it. this meditation was very powerful for me.. I could feel and see waves of light coming to me. I could feel my power. It is very powerful. I now that might sound strange to some but some of you might get it. I understand to be true that we all have great powers within us and life is all about trying to peel back all the baggage we’ve been carrying around thinking we need it for this thing called life when in fact we already have it. It’s just been buried so deep. You life is about pulling it back and see what is really. It’s all beautiful. even the stuff we think is ugly and no one would want. But that’s not true, you born this way and somewhere really soon there’s someone out there who really needs you to be just like. And chances are they’re closer than you think. The need to see you be the real you, being just who you were born to be. This will help them to peel back their layers that they are so scared and terrified of doing in order to be their true self. There’s a cycle of life and it’s more about being authentic to ourselves and exploring who we are,learning as much as possible about who we are. To me this sounds exciting to others probably fearful of removing the coat of excuses you’ve picked out oh so carefully and have been wearing ever since. I am shedding my coat of excuses and putting nothing  else on. I know I have been given free will and I plan on using it more and more for me.  I have really big dreams and I know they are on their way.. I am preparing for when they arrive. It’s not a matter of whether they do or not it’s just a matter of timing. Now I’m not sitting around waiting for them to happen either. This is why we need to prepare. it’s a blessing to not have it arrive when we think it should. You actually maybe being protected by having it not happen right now. Perhaps it’s because there’s a storm ahead and you’re meant to sit back and wait it out in safety. Or maybe it’s because there’s an even bigger dream coming your way that you’re meant to be doing. All this preparation is paying off in ten folds and beyond. You cannot even imagine what dreams you may be able to live out… Just be open to them when they arrive. Because it’s in your thoughts is simply because you’re suppose to have them and it’s on it’s way. Be ready. Learn to remove fear… 

wow, now that’s a good start to a blog for today. Namaste.

Who am I to block this blessing from being shared?
Are the blessings that are housed inside of me really mine?
Isn’t it better to give than to receive?
Why do I assume my blessings are not enough?
What if giving a gift outside of myself is actually doing the selfish thing.
Why do we think we have to purchase something to give?
Isn’t the best give really what’s inside of you?

Baby, those negative words do nothing for you they are only blocking your blessings. All those judgments you fling around and hit others.. who are you to be blocking someone else’s blessing from being shared. .. Listen to those whispers inside…slowly it will be louder and soon it will turn into music and then your song is playing everywhere.. you will be able to hear it everywhere and in everything..

Like a radio you are a particular station and only you are able to give on this station and the audience is infinite..everyone who needs it is waiting to hear your song. But all you have been doing is hiding, it’s like you’re holding the mute button down but that mute button is only on your radio not everyone else’s. They can still her your song but it’s not the one blessing one that’s waiting to come out. Your message and sound still go everywhere and to everyone but you are the only one who is holding the mute button our radio everyone else has theirs off and are waiting.

When I am doing something I love no matter the glory or the lack of it why would I ever stop doing it?

Stop needing more than what you’ve already been given.

When you are broken and are frozen
in fear among the cracks of your life.
It is in those cracks where faith resides,
in the cracks where you can see the light,
and where you can finally breathe.
In faith, light fills and repairs the cracks,
a rainbow appears in the tears of hope
with the love that’s in your heart.
You are never alone.
I too live in the cracks with the light,
in the Love with God.
You are never alone.

It’s through the brokenness that we live, we cannot stay preserved behind glass and live life. We must live among the cracks, let in some air, let in  the light. Why even focus on the brokenness? Instead put your focus on the space that is open now. The space where the light is, what if there’s nothing to put back together? No one is perfect, we are all broken and this is a good thing. Beware of the one who tells you to put yourself back together. I am telling you that with the grace of the divine, faith that we are all cracked, flawed so perfectly that we are all ‘normal’ there’s nothing wrong with you, with anyone. Be weary of  the one who tells you the opposite, they are denying their own flaws, their own cracks among their life and are trying to pass their fears onto you. You are loved just as you are.

Why do we focus on what’s being broken? Why do we fear breaking?
What if we are to focus on the space in between?
Love, life exists in the space among the light.
What if we are meant to live our life breaking things?
That is where the real beauty lives, that is where living a full life is all about.
If you could love the space in between the brokenness, and not be afraid of it.To not have to hide, to not have to wait for all the pieces to be healed but instead relishing in the glory of the light. This removes the fear of breaking things…this is what living out loud is all about.

Isn’t it time? Are you ready? I am.

When you do a renovation you must break things.

Rest In Peace is the saying when someone dies and leaves this human form…but what about when we are alive? Why do we wait until we die to actually rest?

Are we ever able to rest in peace?

This morning I began writing a piece about this because I have been searching and searching for a place that would be quiet enough so I could find some peace. But I cannot turn off the noise that is running around in my head like a kid in a panic over who knows what.

Here we go I believe and know this to be true, that we are to rest in the darkness. Why? Because you cannot always live in the light, if you did you would end up being burned or simply just dry out. You need the darkness to rest. But this is what ends up happening instead. We get scared and try to get out and or avoid it and be worried about the darkness. This could be a situation that is bothering you. A thought you are having that is causing you stress, sadness etc.

Instead we should just rest.

At night in the dark what do we do? We are to rest while we sleep.

Whoa… wait a minute is what this RIP really means?? We see it on head stones in cemeteries and use it as an expression to someone who has died. But what if we we are to Rest in Peace even when we are alive.

A plant needs to rest and will do so when it’s dark . All things need to rest.

We have compliantly lost what that means and even how to do it. Meaning we have been taught how to do so.

During a stormy time in your life when things seem dark – you should be resting in peace. Perhaps sit calmly and just breathe, trust, believe there’s a purpose and you will come out of it. You’ll come through it  into the light. But we end up getting stuck trying to fight the darkness, racing to solve the puzzle first, to get a ahead to consume all we can.

We have forgotten to rest. Stop resisting what is right now. Live in the light, that is where our attention should be. Stop giving the darkness all your attention. All this darkness we have all around us is demanding for us to stop and rest. It’s getting louder and louder and yet we don’t listen, we don’t understand what is really happening.. what it really means . It’s only going to get  bigger and louder until we have no choice but to rest because we’ll be so broken. Think about it when someone breaks down or even breaks a bone..what happens?

They are to rest.

We will get so beat up and feel so broken that there will be nothing left. We will then be searching for a darker space to hide so we can finally rest.

Picture a hurt and wounded animal they’ll wander off and hide in the shadows to rest and heal.

All this wisdom we’ve learned from all these years and have passed down and we’ve missed this one.

Wow!
But hey we’ve created this magic paper to chase we call money. And how it can control people.
That’s helpful to who??

May you Rest in Peace because resting in any other way is not really resting.

I would have to say that this is why there’s a world calling for meditation and prayer. It’s a way for people to know and to experience what resting in peace really means.

What if the RIP we read on tombstones are really a message from the other side…

First of all what do you consider a bad thing?
We all have a different view on it however when it comes to someone taking the life of another we have a tendency to pay attention. Or at least we use to.

Let’s face it we now live in a society where it is normal to see someone die.
Just for a fun fact, count how many days in a row that you have not seen someone die or who are dead?

This shows up daily for most of us. It’s all over the news. It’s in the games we play. The movies we watch with such delight. In the books we read. We discuss it with others in great debates on how it happened and our opinion on why. Some conversations whether out loud to another or one that stays inside your head sometimes comes up with possible solutions. And within those conversations is it about taking another life?

Now within those places you view death is there someone being rewarded for doing so?
Within our school systems we teach our young all about our hero’s of our days gone by. We teach them how they killed many and of course there was a really good reason, chances are we had something to save and protect. It was us against them and the strongest seemed to survived and be rewarded for such behaviour. Does that knowledge ever leave us? In case you might forget we have holidays to celebrate and we have statues to remind us. Decades and decades later we are still celebrating this.

Big question here, don’t we all want to be remembered? Don’t we all want to have a legacy? How do we define killing someone? Isn’t a life a life? Before you attack me here listen for just a little bit longer. I can hear you say, yeah but someone people are mean and evil. Sure, OK but I am more curious about the why. We all have the same amount of good and bad within us. What makes one come out more than the other?

It wasn’t too long ago that we all rallied together in a time of tragedy and it didn’t have to be a major disaster to do so. It was when we actually knew who our neighbours were and we gathered together, working together for something greater than ourselves. We interacted more with each other. Yes, I know we interact with each other perhaps more these days but there is a huge difference on interacting with someone in person then online. There is an energy in person that cannot be hidden or intercepted. When we interact online in any fashion our energy is not being directed to the other person because there’s energy in the device we use. In person you can actually feel. And this has very little to do with people being fake online. We are all seeking attention and recognition for who we are. Who we portray ourselves to be is a whole other thing, There’s something to be said for being real and it’s pretty hard to hide when you’re in person.

Anyways the way we interact these days has a lot to do with the change in what happens in our communities. 
We have isolated ourselves and are attempting to interact through a device wanting a human connection. 

To try and make ourselves feel better we will turn outward towards anything else other than ourselves. We have a great deal of difficulty facing our own fears so instead we will turn to the ones that have been created for us. We will watch the news, we will play games, watch videos etc. And what is it that you’re actually watching? This is consumption, it’s no different on what you put into your body. Does it nourish you or make you ill?

I hate to the bearer of more bad news but the violence we are currently experiencing is only going to get worse if we don’t learn to be honest with ourselves, ask for help and learn to communication and reconnect to each other. As I always say, communication, connection, collaboration and communities are the most important features to a fulfilled life. Without it we resort to other avenues to reach any of these we feel are missing. I know this to be true because I’ve done it myself through every possible addiction there is. Which one are you missing out on?

We not only need to communicate to our neighbours but first we must be able to be honest with ourselves. Forgive yourself for not knowing any better then passing it on.
You do matter and the world needs you.