The Loneliness Epidemic
Have your heard of this and do you think it’s a real thing today?
Here’s a theory I have. I believe it is a real thing and it’s scarey as heck. We are more disconnected than ever before but more disconnected from ourselves. Even though we have multiple ways of connecting, quicker, easier to just about anywhere in the world. But here’s the problem.

We don’t share authentically..and We have not caught up to the speed of technology yet.

Think back to when we use to take a picture. Typically it was a fancy thing and we had to go to a studio and have out portrait taken by a professional. We got all dressed up. Or your picture might of been taken by someone at a party, a special event. Then you had to wait for the pictures to be developed and once they came back to you. You went through them and would only showcase the good ones. 
Well we do the samething today, and we only show the good ones. Back in the day, we were living socially more open, we socialized more in person and stayed close to family etc.We knew what was going on, and what was happening in the neighbourhood.

Today this is not the case, we barely know our next door neigbours, Today we keep our doors locked and windows dark. Our families are not living near us at all and we only share time with them online or for special occasions.

I think this is why we have more crimes, more homelessness and on and on it goes. We care more in a way, and we have more ways of reaching out but less connections that are real.

We miss the perfect person behind the perfection we see everywhere. 
This is may even be why seeing a homeless person is difficult..we don’t know how to handle it and know that it could be us. They just couldn’t keep the mask up like the rest of us.

All this month we are sharing our home.
We are sharing how we live. What keeping a home means to us.

Welcome to our home.
All this month I am sharing my home & how we live in it. How I deal with clutter & staying organized, storage solutions.
I am talking about our environment & why it’s so important, how it sets up for success in our life or tears us down.

When I talk about environment, it means more to me than what we normally think of and this thing we need to save and yes I know it’s important and does need us to help it out and yes we do need to care more about it but we also need to look at the immediate environment that surrounds us. I am talking about our home the building in which you live in as well as your work place and even including your car or how you get to work.

We’ve all heard you are the result of the five people who hang around with the most but I am also saying you are the result of your immediate environment as well.

If you start your day hitting the snooze button and over sleeping every day and when you do get up you struggle to find the things you need to get out the door quickly, then we can all agree on that you are not starting your day very successfully. Success to me means, success in life not just in business and money. But success for your own life.

All this month I will share how my husband and I share our home. How we keep things neat and organized and safe for all. ( I am big on safety)

I never use to be like this. I actually grew up quite the opposite and perhaps that’s why I am like that now. It took me some time to get it and there are still days I struggle with it. Yes the laundry piles up, and the sink gets filled with dishes, and there are even days where I can’t find something I need. But thankfully I have more good days.

I also love having my space being fully functionable for me and my family. The space has to work for how we are going to use it. I have changed living rooms into bedrooms, and bedrooms into closets.

I have set up over twenty homes from a sprawling ranch bungalow to an upper condo, and basement apartments. Reorganized multiple business in a variety of industries to become more efficient and make more money.

Creating a home that rises to greet you as soon as you open the door, being welcomed with the first few steps inside. Having your space work for you, having the security of knowing it is safe but also looks beautiful. Your home needs to be a reflection of who you are. If you want to change your life, start with your environment. Welcome.

I was out for my daily walk today. When I go out for my walks I never listen to anything other than what’s around me. I listen to the birds and to be fully aware of my surroundings. 

This morning while out I kept thinking I heard someone walking behind me. It’s winter here now and I could hear the snow, sand and salt being crushed beneath my feet as I walked on the streets. I also use walking poles to help with my posture and they make noise as well. I did not turn around as I didn’t want to disrupt my flow or fall and or twist my body. Also for some reason I find it difficult to make conversation with someone who’s walking behind you and if you don’t know them and maybe you don’t want to know either. 

But also there’s this fear element and it did go through my mind.  I could feel myself pick up my pace a bit. Not that I was in any danger, it was a residential street and I’m in a small town and it was day light.  But my heart beat was just a little stronger which could of been from my new quickened pace. And then I calmed down and thought to myself and smiled. This is how I feel about my past. 

You’re moving along in a new direction and feel confident, standing tall. Then out of no where you hear something, it distracts you and you end up putting all your focus onto the noise. The noise of your past. Sometimes I do what I did today…pick up my pace and keep moving ahead. 

Yes, I have tried to out run my past Then there are times when I stop and face it. I tell it to leave me alone. Yelling only gets me more upset but yes I’ve done that too. There are times I’l have an actually conversation with it and try to see what it’s doing. What does it really want from me. Ignoring is another one but that’s for a very limited amount of time as it gets louder. 

It’s sole purpose is to keep us alive and you’re reading this then it’s done a great job.

Accept it and thank it for doing such a great job. 

Remember its only function is to keeps you alive, it means no harm. And it only goes on facts. It is the record keeper of everything imagined or not. Real or fake, it keeps it all; just to keep you safe. 

In order to grow you have to  provide new facts for your past. Keep moving and do what you’re heart desires., listen closely to those whispers for those are your creator speaking you. 

Anyways this morning, I kept walking and eventually turned to verify a person was behind me but waited until I had to cross the street. And there was someone else and they were just walking home. as that is what we all are doing. But I so appreciated them walking home that way so I could have the material to write this piece. 

I am not my past, I am not the little girl who cannot speak her mind, I am not that little girl who is scared to make someone upset by just being me.I am a grown woman, the woman I always wanted to be, the one I would dream about wishing I could be with a snap of my fingers. Well my wish is here.

If I were to go back to that place and be around those people who aren’t there for me now nor were they there for me before. It would slowly kill me again..  I am here in a much better place and I love me. I have never really said that before and meant it. But it feels good and I believe it.

I can honestly say right now that I am letting go of what there was in my past and I am opening myself up to the possibilities I have right here right now. I know I am able of great things. I’ve always known it but now I can actually see it coming true.

Remembering gratitude when you feel bad. 

In my heart of hearts I believe my son knows this as well. I know he desperately wants something better for himself, but he has to prove it to himself in his own way. I tried to protect him so much but making stronger and to believe in himself. We had to. I didn’t know any better. Today I do and I am working on me.

I have a loving man in my life, who didn’t go through the pain that I had went through, thankfully because really i wouldn’t wish that onto anyone. He supports me in the best way he can and he’s really good at it. I am blessed.

I have a healthy happy son who is learning to be really independent, just like I had taught him. Although I really wanted to be a bigger part of his life, I have to learn to trust what I taught him is serving him well. We are both learning more about ourselves these days. That’s why we are like this.

I have also 2 smaller children that are a big part of my life, what a blessing to be able to pass on the lesson’s I’ve learned so far. My husbands family shows love the way I had thought I had wanted, but nothing is perfect, so I am accepting what I am given as far as love goes. Blessings.

I know I’ve been living in my past fears on this pity train. I wanted people to love me for everything I’ve been through. I wanted others to be proud of the things I’ve overcome and being able to smile in the light of day. it’s been a struggle yes that’s for sure. But for those of us who truely overcome difficult times are those who do not dwell on it and sit in the soiled mess that was created when you didn’t know any better. When you were a baby you sat in your soiled diapers, not knowing that’s what you were doing, soon though you discovered it was uncomfortable and not enjoyable at all. You learned to get out of it and move on. You didn’t sit in it nor did you go on and on about how you use to sit in it and want others around you to feel sorry for you and say what a great joy you did.. You just did it.  I know not the best description for this but it really drives home the point. I am done with sitting in a mess and wanting others to experience the pain of being in such a mess. I am ready to put on my girl panties and be me the best I am.

Wow what a difference a few hours make, I am feeling tears trying to come up, not tears of pain, or sorrow but tears of joy. when the lows are low for me the high gets a little higher. I love it. Thank you. I can smile with gratitude in my heart and joy lurking around the corner. yippee. 

I am not my used diaper anymore. …yeah I ‘ll have to work on that one. It just doesn’t sound quite right.

When you think about it I’m really not that little girl anymore and I am really happy to have finally discover this. thank you.

Good Morning Everyone.

Here I am here at the kitchen with my lap top  and a coffee and my man here with me. Things seem to be a little better, I think we are both present and aware. At least that is what I’m hoping for.

I am sore a fair bit from ……..well probably from being out of shape. I am working on changing this and that’s why I’m sore. I am walking more and more and working-which consists of me being on my feet for hours and then I’m doing yoga. Which all is good for me but it’s really different for me for now. It’ll get better the more I do it. I love how the body responds so easily.

I have to work later on today. I really do like working there. It’s such a good fit for me. I keep it moving.

Today just seems like one of those days when I can’t really pick a topic to talk about on here.

Outside it is foggy, very heavy… I can only see the houses across the street and no further. Not sure if it’s only here in town or everywhere just because we’re so close to the water. it’s a day where you put on soft music and light a few candles..maybe a little house keeping and stay warm. There’s a change in the weather coming. I can feel it. .All change is good, it’s not something to fear it’s something to embrace. And this I do. I love change. Even that that  I do not have control over I believe I do adapt fairly well with it. I love changing locations, this is why I move a lot. I like to have different experiences and meet new people. I am finally in a place where I feel like I could belong. There are so many others here who really enjoy life and see it for it can be and do it. I love that. Last night in fact we went over to a neighbours near us here and they rent out used ski equipment.. how brilliant. she’s been doing it for years and she enjoys it. We were able to outfit 4 people for under 150 dollars and it’s not really old stuff either.

I cannot seem to stay focused on anything right now. Arg.

Back again and this time I’m on the floor after finishing my meditation practise for today. Although I may do another one later on. 

The affirmation is I Expect and accept abundance to flow freely to me today. I really love it. this meditation was very powerful for me.. I could feel and see waves of light coming to me. I could feel my power. It is very powerful. I now that might sound strange to some but some of you might get it. I understand to be true that we all have great powers within us and life is all about trying to peel back all the baggage we’ve been carrying around thinking we need it for this thing called life when in fact we already have it. It’s just been buried so deep. You life is about pulling it back and see what is really. It’s all beautiful. even the stuff we think is ugly and no one would want. But that’s not true, you born this way and somewhere really soon there’s someone out there who really needs you to be just like. And chances are they’re closer than you think. The need to see you be the real you, being just who you were born to be. This will help them to peel back their layers that they are so scared and terrified of doing in order to be their true self. There’s a cycle of life and it’s more about being authentic to ourselves and exploring who we are,learning as much as possible about who we are. To me this sounds exciting to others probably fearful of removing the coat of excuses you’ve picked out oh so carefully and have been wearing ever since. I am shedding my coat of excuses and putting nothing  else on. I know I have been given free will and I plan on using it more and more for me.  I have really big dreams and I know they are on their way.. I am preparing for when they arrive. It’s not a matter of whether they do or not it’s just a matter of timing. Now I’m not sitting around waiting for them to happen either. This is why we need to prepare. it’s a blessing to not have it arrive when we think it should. You actually maybe being protected by having it not happen right now. Perhaps it’s because there’s a storm ahead and you’re meant to sit back and wait it out in safety. Or maybe it’s because there’s an even bigger dream coming your way that you’re meant to be doing. All this preparation is paying off in ten folds and beyond. You cannot even imagine what dreams you may be able to live out… Just be open to them when they arrive. Because it’s in your thoughts is simply because you’re suppose to have them and it’s on it’s way. Be ready. Learn to remove fear… 

wow, now that’s a good start to a blog for today. Namaste.

Good Morning!

Here I am sitting at the desk, while my whole house shakes more like vibrating but nonetheless it is rather unsettling to say the least. The reason for it is due to some construction going on up the street, but I believe it’s even more than that. I believe it is trying to tell me something about myself, I need to shake things up and because I haven’t really been able to the world is going to do it for me.

Last night we went out for a walk around town and found a few more beautiful spots to enjoy mother nature and the heaven we currently live in and among… we chatted about the book I had been reading and finished yesterday as well Peace from broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant and my own experiences and some of my writing from yesterday. Really i think I just counsel myself and give myself advice as if I was at the therapist office. Sometimes I don’t think he’s really listening to me. Not sure if it’s intentional or just by habit, of course I find it rather annoying but I love him anyways and he has his own stuff to deal with.

Anyhow I talked my way into the best advice ever and somehow it all made perfect sense and there was no fear. … I am just doing it plain and simple. I’m not waiting, I’m not asking anymore questions about it, I’m not creating this mound of excuses for why I can’t or shouldn’t live my life as I’ve always dreamed of doing. Everything just seemed so clear and I wasn’t afraid.

I am just going to start by talking with people. I already know how to do that and love doing it. I love to entertain so I could even have a few over to the house. It’s because of all my pain and experiences that I can relate to so many people, I’ve always known this and understood that purpose but have been too scared to really pursue it. Well not anymore. I am the leader I’ve always wanted to be. I am!

Only I can be all of these things I want to be. Up until this very moment I thought I had to wait for someone else to tell me what I could do or not do…. I know crazy but it’s a pattern I learned very early on. Or I also thought up to this moment that I had to learn someone else’s and if I did learn their love & passion for it then they would love me. I tell ya I’ve spent a lot of time doing things I really wasn’t very interested in but when you don’t know any better you can’t do any better.

Now there’s’ nothing wrong with learning new things if you truly have a desire for it in the first place. It is all about your intention.

So I am excited to say that I have finally figured out a really big piece of my puzzle, I can create the life I want and or always wanted by just doing it. A big smile comes over my face.

So here we go, I want to be happy and peaceful living a serene life. this is my wish & prayer for everyone else in the world as well.

I wish to be healthy, love being active and eating well. Enjoying the freshness that the world has to offer us. What a blessing we have, through the great divine – sunshine, water we have a bountiful amount of food to choose from. These are the foods I want to enjoy and savour. Being active even living outside and being aware. Love it.

I want to share this.

I want to be my best and that includes feeling good about how I look. Washing my face, brushing my teeth….I know it sounds really odd that this needs to be included but it does. I wasn’t raised with personal hygiene being a top priority. I learned I had to put myself last…

Interesting moment here right now, I believe I’ve been waiting for someone to put me at their top priority…..yes that’s it. As I felt like I didn’t matter a whole lot growing up, I searched in a lot of wrong places for others to treat me like their number one, because I couldn’t do it myself. If at any time I would have done that it would have been really frowned upon and it was made to look like I was showing up. Which was never a good thing either.

Now being an adult I can make these decisions for myself and not have to worry anymore on who is pleased or not. I like that freedom.

Other things I wish to accomplish now with my new found spirit is I want to share my story in anyway possible. I love to share the words with feelings and hopefully learn something new or just in a different way. I wish to travel, which will probably mean I will have to become a little more comfortable with flying and maybe even alone. nodding my head on the inside… I also want to teach, I want to teach life….. I know that sounds really odd, but there’s really other way to describe it. I want to teach others how to be comfortable with who they are and who they wish to be. Or another way of putting it would be becoming more of who they really are. Opening up the awareness, shedding some light onto it and walking through the darkness. We don’t have to be alone. I can be that friend that holds your hand, I can be that one who shows you how to cook, how to decorate, what to eat, or just having someone to vent your frustrations to. for so long in my life I’ve felt totally alone and that I was the only one who was going through this or that. When in fact there’s millions of us who are going through the same thing and would have loved for someone to be there saying you can do it and I’ll be right here with you to help you if you need it. What freedom that would be.

You need to go through the pain in order to give it away. If you try to avoid and go around it it’ll just keep coming back in another form until you get it. Just go through it. Their life is none of your business it’s God’s not yours.                         

When you are broken and are frozen
in fear among the cracks of your life.
It is in those cracks where faith resides,
in the cracks where you can see the light,
and where you can finally breathe.
In faith, light fills and repairs the cracks,
a rainbow appears in the tears of hope
with the love that’s in your heart.
You are never alone.
I too live in the cracks with the light,
in the Love with God.
You are never alone.

It’s through the brokenness that we live, we cannot stay preserved behind glass and live life. We must live among the cracks, let in some air, let in  the light. Why even focus on the brokenness? Instead put your focus on the space that is open now. The space where the light is, what if there’s nothing to put back together? No one is perfect, we are all broken and this is a good thing. Beware of the one who tells you to put yourself back together. I am telling you that with the grace of the divine, faith that we are all cracked, flawed so perfectly that we are all ‘normal’ there’s nothing wrong with you, with anyone. Be weary of  the one who tells you the opposite, they are denying their own flaws, their own cracks among their life and are trying to pass their fears onto you. You are loved just as you are.

Why do we focus on what’s being broken? Why do we fear breaking?
What if we are to focus on the space in between?
Love, life exists in the space among the light.
What if we are meant to live our life breaking things?
That is where the real beauty lives, that is where living a full life is all about.
If you could love the space in between the brokenness, and not be afraid of it.To not have to hide, to not have to wait for all the pieces to be healed but instead relishing in the glory of the light. This removes the fear of breaking things…this is what living out loud is all about.

Isn’t it time? Are you ready? I am.

When you do a renovation you must break things.

Rest In Peace is the saying when someone dies and leaves this human form…but what about when we are alive? Why do we wait until we die to actually rest?

Are we ever able to rest in peace?

This morning I began writing a piece about this because I have been searching and searching for a place that would be quiet enough so I could find some peace. But I cannot turn off the noise that is running around in my head like a kid in a panic over who knows what.

Here we go I believe and know this to be true, that we are to rest in the darkness. Why? Because you cannot always live in the light, if you did you would end up being burned or simply just dry out. You need the darkness to rest. But this is what ends up happening instead. We get scared and try to get out and or avoid it and be worried about the darkness. This could be a situation that is bothering you. A thought you are having that is causing you stress, sadness etc.

Instead we should just rest.

At night in the dark what do we do? We are to rest while we sleep.

Whoa… wait a minute is what this RIP really means?? We see it on head stones in cemeteries and use it as an expression to someone who has died. But what if we we are to Rest in Peace even when we are alive.

A plant needs to rest and will do so when it’s dark . All things need to rest.

We have compliantly lost what that means and even how to do it. Meaning we have been taught how to do so.

During a stormy time in your life when things seem dark – you should be resting in peace. Perhaps sit calmly and just breathe, trust, believe there’s a purpose and you will come out of it. You’ll come through it  into the light. But we end up getting stuck trying to fight the darkness, racing to solve the puzzle first, to get a ahead to consume all we can.

We have forgotten to rest. Stop resisting what is right now. Live in the light, that is where our attention should be. Stop giving the darkness all your attention. All this darkness we have all around us is demanding for us to stop and rest. It’s getting louder and louder and yet we don’t listen, we don’t understand what is really happening.. what it really means . It’s only going to get  bigger and louder until we have no choice but to rest because we’ll be so broken. Think about it when someone breaks down or even breaks a bone..what happens?

They are to rest.

We will get so beat up and feel so broken that there will be nothing left. We will then be searching for a darker space to hide so we can finally rest.

Picture a hurt and wounded animal they’ll wander off and hide in the shadows to rest and heal.

All this wisdom we’ve learned from all these years and have passed down and we’ve missed this one.

Wow!
But hey we’ve created this magic paper to chase we call money. And how it can control people.
That’s helpful to who??

May you Rest in Peace because resting in any other way is not really resting.

I would have to say that this is why there’s a world calling for meditation and prayer. It’s a way for people to know and to experience what resting in peace really means.

What if the RIP we read on tombstones are really a message from the other side…

First of all what do you consider a bad thing?
We all have a different view on it however when it comes to someone taking the life of another we have a tendency to pay attention. Or at least we use to.

Let’s face it we now live in a society where it is normal to see someone die.
Just for a fun fact, count how many days in a row that you have not seen someone die or who are dead?

This shows up daily for most of us. It’s all over the news. It’s in the games we play. The movies we watch with such delight. In the books we read. We discuss it with others in great debates on how it happened and our opinion on why. Some conversations whether out loud to another or one that stays inside your head sometimes comes up with possible solutions. And within those conversations is it about taking another life?

Now within those places you view death is there someone being rewarded for doing so?
Within our school systems we teach our young all about our hero’s of our days gone by. We teach them how they killed many and of course there was a really good reason, chances are we had something to save and protect. It was us against them and the strongest seemed to survived and be rewarded for such behaviour. Does that knowledge ever leave us? In case you might forget we have holidays to celebrate and we have statues to remind us. Decades and decades later we are still celebrating this.

Big question here, don’t we all want to be remembered? Don’t we all want to have a legacy? How do we define killing someone? Isn’t a life a life? Before you attack me here listen for just a little bit longer. I can hear you say, yeah but someone people are mean and evil. Sure, OK but I am more curious about the why. We all have the same amount of good and bad within us. What makes one come out more than the other?

It wasn’t too long ago that we all rallied together in a time of tragedy and it didn’t have to be a major disaster to do so. It was when we actually knew who our neighbours were and we gathered together, working together for something greater than ourselves. We interacted more with each other. Yes, I know we interact with each other perhaps more these days but there is a huge difference on interacting with someone in person then online. There is an energy in person that cannot be hidden or intercepted. When we interact online in any fashion our energy is not being directed to the other person because there’s energy in the device we use. In person you can actually feel. And this has very little to do with people being fake online. We are all seeking attention and recognition for who we are. Who we portray ourselves to be is a whole other thing, There’s something to be said for being real and it’s pretty hard to hide when you’re in person.

Anyways the way we interact these days has a lot to do with the change in what happens in our communities. 
We have isolated ourselves and are attempting to interact through a device wanting a human connection. 

To try and make ourselves feel better we will turn outward towards anything else other than ourselves. We have a great deal of difficulty facing our own fears so instead we will turn to the ones that have been created for us. We will watch the news, we will play games, watch videos etc. And what is it that you’re actually watching? This is consumption, it’s no different on what you put into your body. Does it nourish you or make you ill?

I hate to the bearer of more bad news but the violence we are currently experiencing is only going to get worse if we don’t learn to be honest with ourselves, ask for help and learn to communication and reconnect to each other. As I always say, communication, connection, collaboration and communities are the most important features to a fulfilled life. Without it we resort to other avenues to reach any of these we feel are missing. I know this to be true because I’ve done it myself through every possible addiction there is. Which one are you missing out on?

We not only need to communicate to our neighbours but first we must be able to be honest with ourselves. Forgive yourself for not knowing any better then passing it on.
You do matter and the world needs you.

Who do we really think a hero is?

A hero comes home from fighting, or a long journey where he had to fight a dragon as the story goes.
A hero is someone who appears to fight something outside of themselves but really I believe it’s actually a fight that goes on inside of us.
When you can’t seem to get out of bed in the morning because you believe there’s nothing in this world for you. But when you step onto the floor you then become a hero.
Does a hero need to be holding a gun? Do they need to belong to a group that fights others?
What about when you want to say I love you but you’re not sure if the other person feels the same. To me that’s a hero.

Do we have to have trophy’s in order to be a hero?
What about working long shifts at work in order to be able to provide for your family, even though you know it’s not enough. You secretly think you’re a loser who can never do enough. Well you’re a hero. You go out every day and give it your best.
Coming home to your family when you were told you don’t work here anymore.
Then I go to some woman whom I know who can’t even hold a pen let alone a make up eye liner, they would never even try to come that close to their with anything sharp for fear of poking out their eyes.Because their eyes are the only way they know the world. Then I thought of another person I know who walking is a challenge and never being able run or walk along with those they love. I believe these woman to be heroes.

As you wake up in the morning and begin your day you look in the mirror and wonder where did that super hero go you had always wanted to be? Well believe me your kids believe you are that super hero.
But why don’t we celebrate the everyday hero?

A hero is someone who has courage that comes from within, the fight goes on inside us all. It’s the fight to believe that there’s more courage.
As I put on my make up to make myself feel a little better about myself and to have my man take notice of me I wonder who else is doing this? I wonder if anyone else has difficulty putting on the eye liner, trying to keep a straight line along my lashes. I believe that’s how it’s suppose to go anyways.
I then thought about woman I know and I would like to admit that I have been there myself, a time when getting out of bed seemed to be the greatest obstacle in life. However once that step is taken and the feet touch the floor you’re a hero. To the mom who takes the time to brush her teeth in silence, and look in the mirror wondering where the little girl went who dreamed of prince charming is a hero. For her prince charming now calls her mom.

To the woman who knows going to work every day means she might not be there for her children when they arrive home from school and a meeting runs late and they miss tucking them into bed. For you are the hero for sure, as your tip toe into the bedroom and pull up the blankets against their tiny little bodies, brushing their hair back whispering I love you.

To the woman who goes hungry because there’s not enough food in the house, you are a hero.
To the woman who doesn’t have children and is ok with that, you’re a hero because you’re able to speak and live in your truth.
To the woman as once myself who have lost children and now speak to as angels. You are a hero, you hold your head up when all you really want to do is lay down and cry and pray why?

We are all heroes, we all beat to the same heart. We all have lessons and challenges to go through hopefully with grace. But we are all the same, we are each others heroes, someone somewhere is looking to you for strength. I know it’s hard but try to remember that when those dark days come flooding your life.

You are a hero. xo