The Loneliness Epidemic
Have your heard of this and do you think it’s a real thing today?
Here’s a theory I have. I believe it is a real thing and it’s scarey as heck. We are more disconnected than ever before but more disconnected from ourselves. Even though we have multiple ways of connecting, quicker, easier to just about anywhere in the world. But here’s the problem.

We don’t share authentically..and We have not caught up to the speed of technology yet.

Think back to when we use to take a picture. Typically it was a fancy thing and we had to go to a studio and have out portrait taken by a professional. We got all dressed up. Or your picture might of been taken by someone at a party, a special event. Then you had to wait for the pictures to be developed and once they came back to you. You went through them and would only showcase the good ones. 
Well we do the samething today, and we only show the good ones. Back in the day, we were living socially more open, we socialized more in person and stayed close to family etc.We knew what was going on, and what was happening in the neighbourhood.

Today this is not the case, we barely know our next door neigbours, Today we keep our doors locked and windows dark. Our families are not living near us at all and we only share time with them online or for special occasions.

I think this is why we have more crimes, more homelessness and on and on it goes. We care more in a way, and we have more ways of reaching out but less connections that are real.

We miss the perfect person behind the perfection we see everywhere. 
This is may even be why seeing a homeless person is difficult..we don’t know how to handle it and know that it could be us. They just couldn’t keep the mask up like the rest of us.

When you are wanting to change your life, are you also changing your environment?
What does your home say about you?
What about your transformation to and from work?
Your workplace, is it a place you enjoy?

Taking a look at these is very important. If you are wanting to stop an addiction you remove the addiction from your life. But what about as you change yourself, you age as times goes on do you also change the environment around you?

We all go through changes in our lives, but what can you change? Are you holding onto things out of guilt or pressure from family and friends? Are you keeping things in your life just out of habits?

I love changing my own environment and I think it is one of the key factors in creating lasting change in your life. First is to assess your home, the space around you. If you like it, then move on. If not then you must figure out what it is that you really want in your life. Does the space around you lift you up and make you happy? If not, then list the things you want for your home.

I have always moved, and transformed my space around me to suite my needs at the time. I am not afraid to get rid of things but I also keep the things I love and use. Most of the things in my home have multiple purposes. I love function and being efficient and always keeping in mind safety. And lastly beauty, the space will look beautiful because it works for my life today, not twenty years ago.

Create lasting change in your life by creating the space you want to be in. Stop avoiding your life and live your life today.

All this month we are sharing our home.
We are sharing how we live. What keeping a home means to us.

Welcome to our home.
All this month I am sharing my home & how we live in it. How I deal with clutter & staying organized, storage solutions.
I am talking about our environment & why it’s so important, how it sets up for success in our life or tears us down.

When I talk about environment, it means more to me than what we normally think of and this thing we need to save and yes I know it’s important and does need us to help it out and yes we do need to care more about it but we also need to look at the immediate environment that surrounds us. I am talking about our home the building in which you live in as well as your work place and even including your car or how you get to work.

We’ve all heard you are the result of the five people who hang around with the most but I am also saying you are the result of your immediate environment as well.

If you start your day hitting the snooze button and over sleeping every day and when you do get up you struggle to find the things you need to get out the door quickly, then we can all agree on that you are not starting your day very successfully. Success to me means, success in life not just in business and money. But success for your own life.

All this month I will share how my husband and I share our home. How we keep things neat and organized and safe for all. ( I am big on safety)

I never use to be like this. I actually grew up quite the opposite and perhaps that’s why I am like that now. It took me some time to get it and there are still days I struggle with it. Yes the laundry piles up, and the sink gets filled with dishes, and there are even days where I can’t find something I need. But thankfully I have more good days.

I also love having my space being fully functionable for me and my family. The space has to work for how we are going to use it. I have changed living rooms into bedrooms, and bedrooms into closets.

I have set up over twenty homes from a sprawling ranch bungalow to an upper condo, and basement apartments. Reorganized multiple business in a variety of industries to become more efficient and make more money.

Creating a home that rises to greet you as soon as you open the door, being welcomed with the first few steps inside. Having your space work for you, having the security of knowing it is safe but also looks beautiful. Your home needs to be a reflection of who you are. If you want to change your life, start with your environment. Welcome.

I was out for my daily walk today. When I go out for my walks I never listen to anything other than what’s around me. I listen to the birds and to be fully aware of my surroundings. 

This morning while out I kept thinking I heard someone walking behind me. It’s winter here now and I could hear the snow, sand and salt being crushed beneath my feet as I walked on the streets. I also use walking poles to help with my posture and they make noise as well. I did not turn around as I didn’t want to disrupt my flow or fall and or twist my body. Also for some reason I find it difficult to make conversation with someone who’s walking behind you and if you don’t know them and maybe you don’t want to know either. 

But also there’s this fear element and it did go through my mind.  I could feel myself pick up my pace a bit. Not that I was in any danger, it was a residential street and I’m in a small town and it was day light.  But my heart beat was just a little stronger which could of been from my new quickened pace. And then I calmed down and thought to myself and smiled. This is how I feel about my past. 

You’re moving along in a new direction and feel confident, standing tall. Then out of no where you hear something, it distracts you and you end up putting all your focus onto the noise. The noise of your past. Sometimes I do what I did today…pick up my pace and keep moving ahead. 

Yes, I have tried to out run my past Then there are times when I stop and face it. I tell it to leave me alone. Yelling only gets me more upset but yes I’ve done that too. There are times I’l have an actually conversation with it and try to see what it’s doing. What does it really want from me. Ignoring is another one but that’s for a very limited amount of time as it gets louder. 

It’s sole purpose is to keep us alive and you’re reading this then it’s done a great job.

Accept it and thank it for doing such a great job. 

Remember its only function is to keeps you alive, it means no harm. And it only goes on facts. It is the record keeper of everything imagined or not. Real or fake, it keeps it all; just to keep you safe. 

In order to grow you have to  provide new facts for your past. Keep moving and do what you’re heart desires., listen closely to those whispers for those are your creator speaking you. 

Anyways this morning, I kept walking and eventually turned to verify a person was behind me but waited until I had to cross the street. And there was someone else and they were just walking home. as that is what we all are doing. But I so appreciated them walking home that way so I could have the material to write this piece. 

I enjoy meeting lots of people and learning something new. it’s not my perfect way of spending my day, but it’ll come. As long as I keep my eye on the prize and stay prepared, when the opportunity comes I’ll be ready.

I really need to be more discipline when it comes to writing my book. I am a little overwhelmed when it comes to editing it. There seems to be a lot and I don’t want to make a mistake. I know that is all in my head but it’s one of my fears I am trying to face. I really need to face it head on. Lord help me.

I want to share my stories with so many other people. I understand others and can help them get through the tough challenges they are facing. You are never alone.

So how come when it comes to trying to help someone else go through their struggles I can be all there is to be. But when it comes to helping myself I feel like I am alone??? Seriously.

Last night I broke down a barrier a bit with my man and I shared how I was feeling and what I really wanted from him. But considering I had to ask  for it meant I didn’t want it right then. Because I had to ask and tell him what to do. I want to be with someone who knows what to do. How to give themselves to me. I know that really sounds selfish and it is. but why shouldn’t I be with someone who is selfless. There is taking care of yourself and then there is only taking care of yourself.

I am trying to find the balance for myself, because most of my life I’ve only been giving myself away to others and now it’s time to give back to myself. To fill my own cup.

When I’m down, who do I have to turn to for support? Do we ever really need anyone? I think so. I believe we need to reach out to others for that outside support. We are after all humans who require other human contact. In what form? I’m not too sure.

So we surround ourselves with those who are capable or not to fill this requirement. I’ve managed to eliminate everyone around me. I have managed to surround myself with no one. Nothing has really changed over the years. Before I was around others but they did not have my best interest at heart and didn’t know what I needed therefore we unable to give me anything. other than heartache. Now I’ve removed myself from these people and have only one person; my man and he’s unable to do it either. Am I asking too much for someone to love me? Am I really sending out all these mixed signals to him? Or is it that he’s not capable of giving me what I really want. I have explained it in great detail and he says he believes me and totally understands but when he needs something it’s as if he totally forgets everything that has ever been discussed up to that point. i am the nagging wife…..something I never ever wanted to be a part of. I never wanted to be. How did I get here? Why do I have to be the one who constantly reminds him of what I said yesterday, last week, last month, last year……. why?

I am really talking myself out of this fantasy I’ve created so delicately. How can this happen to me again? Or is it just my mind  playing tricks on me?  How do you know when you’re with that ‘perfect’ someone? Can you ever know for sure? I think it all comes down to feelings. The passion you have for this person, the way they make you feel. It has to be like that. Now I don’t believe you have this feeling all time, or do you? I am really struggling with this. I have so much to give. Maybe that’s it too, when you want to keep on giving even when it gets rough and you really are struggling but you still want to give. Is that the answer? How long do you keep this up however if it’s never being returned? 

Good Morning Everyone.

Here I am here at the kitchen with my lap top  and a coffee and my man here with me. Things seem to be a little better, I think we are both present and aware. At least that is what I’m hoping for.

I am sore a fair bit from ……..well probably from being out of shape. I am working on changing this and that’s why I’m sore. I am walking more and more and working-which consists of me being on my feet for hours and then I’m doing yoga. Which all is good for me but it’s really different for me for now. It’ll get better the more I do it. I love how the body responds so easily.

I have to work later on today. I really do like working there. It’s such a good fit for me. I keep it moving.

Today just seems like one of those days when I can’t really pick a topic to talk about on here.

Outside it is foggy, very heavy… I can only see the houses across the street and no further. Not sure if it’s only here in town or everywhere just because we’re so close to the water. it’s a day where you put on soft music and light a few candles..maybe a little house keeping and stay warm. There’s a change in the weather coming. I can feel it. .All change is good, it’s not something to fear it’s something to embrace. And this I do. I love change. Even that that  I do not have control over I believe I do adapt fairly well with it. I love changing locations, this is why I move a lot. I like to have different experiences and meet new people. I am finally in a place where I feel like I could belong. There are so many others here who really enjoy life and see it for it can be and do it. I love that. Last night in fact we went over to a neighbours near us here and they rent out used ski equipment.. how brilliant. she’s been doing it for years and she enjoys it. We were able to outfit 4 people for under 150 dollars and it’s not really old stuff either.

I cannot seem to stay focused on anything right now. Arg.

Back again and this time I’m on the floor after finishing my meditation practise for today. Although I may do another one later on. 

The affirmation is I Expect and accept abundance to flow freely to me today. I really love it. this meditation was very powerful for me.. I could feel and see waves of light coming to me. I could feel my power. It is very powerful. I now that might sound strange to some but some of you might get it. I understand to be true that we all have great powers within us and life is all about trying to peel back all the baggage we’ve been carrying around thinking we need it for this thing called life when in fact we already have it. It’s just been buried so deep. You life is about pulling it back and see what is really. It’s all beautiful. even the stuff we think is ugly and no one would want. But that’s not true, you born this way and somewhere really soon there’s someone out there who really needs you to be just like. And chances are they’re closer than you think. The need to see you be the real you, being just who you were born to be. This will help them to peel back their layers that they are so scared and terrified of doing in order to be their true self. There’s a cycle of life and it’s more about being authentic to ourselves and exploring who we are,learning as much as possible about who we are. To me this sounds exciting to others probably fearful of removing the coat of excuses you’ve picked out oh so carefully and have been wearing ever since. I am shedding my coat of excuses and putting nothing  else on. I know I have been given free will and I plan on using it more and more for me.  I have really big dreams and I know they are on their way.. I am preparing for when they arrive. It’s not a matter of whether they do or not it’s just a matter of timing. Now I’m not sitting around waiting for them to happen either. This is why we need to prepare. it’s a blessing to not have it arrive when we think it should. You actually maybe being protected by having it not happen right now. Perhaps it’s because there’s a storm ahead and you’re meant to sit back and wait it out in safety. Or maybe it’s because there’s an even bigger dream coming your way that you’re meant to be doing. All this preparation is paying off in ten folds and beyond. You cannot even imagine what dreams you may be able to live out… Just be open to them when they arrive. Because it’s in your thoughts is simply because you’re suppose to have them and it’s on it’s way. Be ready. Learn to remove fear… 

wow, now that’s a good start to a blog for today. Namaste.

Good Morning!

Here I am sitting at the desk, while my whole house shakes more like vibrating but nonetheless it is rather unsettling to say the least. The reason for it is due to some construction going on up the street, but I believe it’s even more than that. I believe it is trying to tell me something about myself, I need to shake things up and because I haven’t really been able to the world is going to do it for me.

Last night we went out for a walk around town and found a few more beautiful spots to enjoy mother nature and the heaven we currently live in and among… we chatted about the book I had been reading and finished yesterday as well Peace from broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant and my own experiences and some of my writing from yesterday. Really i think I just counsel myself and give myself advice as if I was at the therapist office. Sometimes I don’t think he’s really listening to me. Not sure if it’s intentional or just by habit, of course I find it rather annoying but I love him anyways and he has his own stuff to deal with.

Anyhow I talked my way into the best advice ever and somehow it all made perfect sense and there was no fear. … I am just doing it plain and simple. I’m not waiting, I’m not asking anymore questions about it, I’m not creating this mound of excuses for why I can’t or shouldn’t live my life as I’ve always dreamed of doing. Everything just seemed so clear and I wasn’t afraid.

I am just going to start by talking with people. I already know how to do that and love doing it. I love to entertain so I could even have a few over to the house. It’s because of all my pain and experiences that I can relate to so many people, I’ve always known this and understood that purpose but have been too scared to really pursue it. Well not anymore. I am the leader I’ve always wanted to be. I am!

Only I can be all of these things I want to be. Up until this very moment I thought I had to wait for someone else to tell me what I could do or not do…. I know crazy but it’s a pattern I learned very early on. Or I also thought up to this moment that I had to learn someone else’s and if I did learn their love & passion for it then they would love me. I tell ya I’ve spent a lot of time doing things I really wasn’t very interested in but when you don’t know any better you can’t do any better.

Now there’s’ nothing wrong with learning new things if you truly have a desire for it in the first place. It is all about your intention.

So I am excited to say that I have finally figured out a really big piece of my puzzle, I can create the life I want and or always wanted by just doing it. A big smile comes over my face.

So here we go, I want to be happy and peaceful living a serene life. this is my wish & prayer for everyone else in the world as well.

I wish to be healthy, love being active and eating well. Enjoying the freshness that the world has to offer us. What a blessing we have, through the great divine – sunshine, water we have a bountiful amount of food to choose from. These are the foods I want to enjoy and savour. Being active even living outside and being aware. Love it.

I want to share this.

I want to be my best and that includes feeling good about how I look. Washing my face, brushing my teeth….I know it sounds really odd that this needs to be included but it does. I wasn’t raised with personal hygiene being a top priority. I learned I had to put myself last…

Interesting moment here right now, I believe I’ve been waiting for someone to put me at their top priority…..yes that’s it. As I felt like I didn’t matter a whole lot growing up, I searched in a lot of wrong places for others to treat me like their number one, because I couldn’t do it myself. If at any time I would have done that it would have been really frowned upon and it was made to look like I was showing up. Which was never a good thing either.

Now being an adult I can make these decisions for myself and not have to worry anymore on who is pleased or not. I like that freedom.

Other things I wish to accomplish now with my new found spirit is I want to share my story in anyway possible. I love to share the words with feelings and hopefully learn something new or just in a different way. I wish to travel, which will probably mean I will have to become a little more comfortable with flying and maybe even alone. nodding my head on the inside… I also want to teach, I want to teach life….. I know that sounds really odd, but there’s really other way to describe it. I want to teach others how to be comfortable with who they are and who they wish to be. Or another way of putting it would be becoming more of who they really are. Opening up the awareness, shedding some light onto it and walking through the darkness. We don’t have to be alone. I can be that friend that holds your hand, I can be that one who shows you how to cook, how to decorate, what to eat, or just having someone to vent your frustrations to. for so long in my life I’ve felt totally alone and that I was the only one who was going through this or that. When in fact there’s millions of us who are going through the same thing and would have loved for someone to be there saying you can do it and I’ll be right here with you to help you if you need it. What freedom that would be.

You need to go through the pain in order to give it away. If you try to avoid and go around it it’ll just keep coming back in another form until you get it. Just go through it. Their life is none of your business it’s God’s not yours.                         

Rest In Peace is the saying when someone dies and leaves this human form…but what about when we are alive? Why do we wait until we die to actually rest?

Are we ever able to rest in peace?

This morning I began writing a piece about this because I have been searching and searching for a place that would be quiet enough so I could find some peace. But I cannot turn off the noise that is running around in my head like a kid in a panic over who knows what.

Here we go I believe and know this to be true, that we are to rest in the darkness. Why? Because you cannot always live in the light, if you did you would end up being burned or simply just dry out. You need the darkness to rest. But this is what ends up happening instead. We get scared and try to get out and or avoid it and be worried about the darkness. This could be a situation that is bothering you. A thought you are having that is causing you stress, sadness etc.

Instead we should just rest.

At night in the dark what do we do? We are to rest while we sleep.

Whoa… wait a minute is what this RIP really means?? We see it on head stones in cemeteries and use it as an expression to someone who has died. But what if we we are to Rest in Peace even when we are alive.

A plant needs to rest and will do so when it’s dark . All things need to rest.

We have compliantly lost what that means and even how to do it. Meaning we have been taught how to do so.

During a stormy time in your life when things seem dark – you should be resting in peace. Perhaps sit calmly and just breathe, trust, believe there’s a purpose and you will come out of it. You’ll come through it  into the light. But we end up getting stuck trying to fight the darkness, racing to solve the puzzle first, to get a ahead to consume all we can.

We have forgotten to rest. Stop resisting what is right now. Live in the light, that is where our attention should be. Stop giving the darkness all your attention. All this darkness we have all around us is demanding for us to stop and rest. It’s getting louder and louder and yet we don’t listen, we don’t understand what is really happening.. what it really means . It’s only going to get  bigger and louder until we have no choice but to rest because we’ll be so broken. Think about it when someone breaks down or even breaks a bone..what happens?

They are to rest.

We will get so beat up and feel so broken that there will be nothing left. We will then be searching for a darker space to hide so we can finally rest.

Picture a hurt and wounded animal they’ll wander off and hide in the shadows to rest and heal.

All this wisdom we’ve learned from all these years and have passed down and we’ve missed this one.

Wow!
But hey we’ve created this magic paper to chase we call money. And how it can control people.
That’s helpful to who??

May you Rest in Peace because resting in any other way is not really resting.

I would have to say that this is why there’s a world calling for meditation and prayer. It’s a way for people to know and to experience what resting in peace really means.

What if the RIP we read on tombstones are really a message from the other side…

To give someone the gift of leaving.. wow what a concept.

I have been writing this morning about those who left me.

Those in my life whom I never wanted to go and yet they left me. The great pain they caused and how different my life would have been if they stayed. All this time I have viewed it as something negative and extremely hurtful to me. For many of them I had no control (which I never do but sometimes I think do) on them staying and not for the lack of me trying.

I have always had this fear of being alone and thought it was a form of punishment that they left me but today I view it as the best gift ever.

For me I believe they all love me in a way I could not understand until now. They left me in the only way I could understand at the time. More than likely in pain and anger because that is where I was at the time. But they all knew something that I didn’t, they knew I would been all this space and so called alone time to actually figure this out (kind of).

I need all this space because of the span of my wings. They believed in me when I didn’t.

I am actually moved to tears in this moment writing this because I can truly see this as the best gift ever. 

They also believed that I was strong enough to be alone and that I would recover. They new my strength when I was only doubting it but they help me prove that I could handle it.

They somehow knew that they would weigh me down.. they all knew this. They knew I needed to fly.

Up to this very moment I had thought they all hurt me and although at the time it did cause me some pain. (OK maybe a LOT) but I did survive and went onto thrive even just a little.

Look where I am. (currently 2017 living in Ottawa in the south end in my today dream house)

I have no distractions and unlimited space and the means to create anything I desire. I am supported by the world and beyond.

Those who are “different” are only expanding the Universe which is always happening but it is those who seem to be different than the rest who are examples of what is possible. We are the manifested dreams from those who came before us. 

We are left alone to expand our wings and to fly above and soar into the unknown. The people who leave us do so out of love as they know deep down that we are more and that more space is required. You see we don’t fit into this world they are living in. We sense it early on and in most cases it causes a riff in the small society we are a part of. We are different right off the bat, early in our life. Our loved ones really don’t know what to do with us, although they do their best.

I feel so blessed to be able to understand this today. I feel so honoured to be chosen to left alone for so alone. It has allowed me to connect to even more than I ever could of imagined.

Are we meant to be alone came to my thoughts? Can this be true? Could it be that what I am experiencing is what many are searching for? I have had the thought that anyone who is alone completely alone like a monk or nun who has no contact with the outside world and or who are silent are not really serving. I actually think it’s selfish to do this or that is what I had thought.

We are all beacons of light who are serving something beyond ourselves because we are only a piece of it all.

Actually I still think that..because doing the service alone only serves who? Yourself. Unless it actually allows you to discover your purpose of the being you are. So difficult to explain.

It has taken me all this time and for the rest of my life to be the example. To go beyond the expectations of this life…to spread my wings…. to soar and expand the Universe.

I have always written and it has been challenging at times but it has been my path to see this is who I am and so much more. It has allowed to me to find the Universe inside of me..that I am the Universe. That we all are. Each one of us is our own universe and each one of us is connected beyond that.

Words and being able to express them is just one small reason why I am here.

I thought it had to be something bigger like they wanted me to be but I would not stand out .. I would have just blended in and not been seen at all. Samething would of happened if those who left me would have stayed..I would of just blended in.

I love people who leave me now. Wow.

Once I got what other people are doing out of my head I could actually find my own way.

Here we go.

It’s taken me a lot of work and self-examination inside and out to see what it is that I need for me within my own life. What carries my spirit to its fullest? It’s been a wonderful journey. Yes, there were lots of ups and quite a few downs as well, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I feel more at peace with myself. I am calmer and smile more I’m sure.  I feel more, which I didn’t  think would be possible but I do.  I give more of me from the inside. I’m not bending over backwards to help someone but giving from within. I have learned so many things about myself and I love it.

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