I am moving to our new house next week and that is so exciting! I love moving, I love changing things up, and I love to start fresh! Another thing I am compelled to do is be a mentor/guide/coach – whatever term you want to use, to women all over the world who are going through personal struggles. Who feel alone, who don’t feel worthy, who are at a crossroads and don’t know which path to take. I have been there, and that is why I must help them to grow and tend to their own self-pride. 

Ladies we all can use a little more self-pride. So, join our community. Not only to be inspired, but to be supported in your journey with your life renovation. This is my passion and my calling because I know that life is meant to be easy and can be so much better.

As a result, learn how to let go of someone else’s beliefs. Create your own. How many of us are still hanging onto someone else’s beliefs that were, willingly or not, handed over to us and we forgot to set it back down?Are you still holding on to your past? Learn how to let go of it. We must lead by example, we don’t need a fancy career and wear money on the outside to look like a leader. No. That’s how we got here in the first place.

Your life is an example, for the next generation. To all the little girls looking up to you in awe.

You set the stage for your life. Is it one you are proud of? Do you have a plan? A direction? Does your circle of friends and family reflect your life today and the future to where you want to go?

If not, go to renovate-yourlife.com and facebook.com/renovateyourlife and learn how today. 

Take action, you’ve waited long enough. Prince charming isn’t coming to rescue you, he’s stuck in a story book. Take control of your life. If you feel like you still need more support, life coaching is also available. One on one guidance, confidential but to the point. A direct approach to your renovation process. 

Life is easy, or it should be. We are here to explore every colour in the rainbow. Every emotion, create experiences, cultivate relationships, alter your environment for your life, your way..today. 

Looking forward to meeting you soon. 

You matter and the world needs you.

The Loneliness Epidemic
Have your heard of this and do you think it’s a real thing today?
Here’s a theory I have. I believe it is a real thing and it’s scarey as heck. We are more disconnected than ever before but more disconnected from ourselves. Even though we have multiple ways of connecting, quicker, easier to just about anywhere in the world. But here’s the problem.

We don’t share authentically..and We have not caught up to the speed of technology yet.

Think back to when we use to take a picture. Typically it was a fancy thing and we had to go to a studio and have out portrait taken by a professional. We got all dressed up. Or your picture might of been taken by someone at a party, a special event. Then you had to wait for the pictures to be developed and once they came back to you. You went through them and would only showcase the good ones. 
Well we do the samething today, and we only show the good ones. Back in the day, we were living socially more open, we socialized more in person and stayed close to family etc.We knew what was going on, and what was happening in the neighbourhood.

Today this is not the case, we barely know our next door neigbours, Today we keep our doors locked and windows dark. Our families are not living near us at all and we only share time with them online or for special occasions.

I think this is why we have more crimes, more homelessness and on and on it goes. We care more in a way, and we have more ways of reaching out but less connections that are real.

We miss the perfect person behind the perfection we see everywhere. 
This is may even be why seeing a homeless person is difficult..we don’t know how to handle it and know that it could be us. They just couldn’t keep the mask up like the rest of us.

Do you feel like you’re downing in debt and can’t catch your breath? Has this been going on for a long time? Are you life lines being cut off? Do you fear homelessness? It seems most of us are living on the edge and just one paycheck away from being on the streets. It can happen to just about anybody.

I take this topic very seriously and I know there’s no quick fix but I know there is a fix. This is why I create Renovate-Your Life in the first place. To not only give hope and a pray but to help set up yourself for who you really want to become. We are not our circumstances, that is what happens to us when are striving to become a better version of us. Life is not all roses, and happy times, no, life is not a fairy tale. We need the balance to help remind us which direction we need to be going in. Life is working for us not against us.

Sometimes hanging on is all we can do but you have to be hanging onto something that is worth it. You my dear are worth it.

We have become a world in search of something but get distracted by what someone else wants me to see. This is why so many are lost. I say look up, look up to the light, look up to the eyes that are looking at you. See the smile from that one person who truely loves you. You matter and losing money is not the end of the world, it’s just an ending in a chapter of book that has many more chapters. Notice the things that money cannot buy. Start by looking in the mirror and see the mirror you are.

Good Morning Everyone.

Last night I did it. I am so excited to share with you that I actually followed through with a dream of mine. It’s a wonderful start to something magical. I actually got up in front of a crowd and read out loud some of my writings. It was incredible. I conquered a fear and came out the other side of it feeling better than I have in a very long time. I had pride for following through with a dream of mine. And it was well received. Just a small quaint group but nonetheless I did it.

Last night I was wanting to do more, I was addicted to it right then and there. I wanted more. I even mentioned once it was all over that I should hold one in my home considering they were not going to be holding another one until February or March. That seems like such a long way off.

Also just to show you how the world works in this mysterious way. A woman asked to sit next to me and I said of course. We both read our writings and when she finished I shared with her what a great job she did and that it was no mistake that she sat next to me. Out of all the people to have sitting next to me and all the tables she chose it was mine. Her writing and mine were similar by which it is of the spirit….We both believe in the spirit force that surrounds, that creates us, that holds us together rather than apart. We are all one. I was and I guess still am in shock. Amazing. I gave her my phone number and asked her to go for coffee or whatever sometime. Her story is also like mine in the fact that she is new to town as well and do not know too many people here either.

What glorious ways the energy works and in perfect timing. Love it.

I am definitely moving in the right directions of my dreams. It feels so right.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out a way to get of it as well. So glad that didn’t happen. However my ego and pain body really wanted to find any way possible to achieve this, to get out of what ‘they’ thought would be more pain. I read and re-read a few other books of mine trying to find one that seemed to make sense to me. However nothing I had wrote was making sense to me. My sentence structure and grammar were all of sudden notorious I had no faith left inside for me. All of the sudden I had nothing to present and I felt like a failure. I knew it wasn’t my true self, I knew I would have to push through it and be the true self. The one I’ve tried so long to be and this was the opportunity I’ve been waiting for so long. Understanding that everything happens when it needs to and so forth, now was the perfect time for this to happen. Eric came home and tried to get of it again sharing my despair with him. He was perfect and said I can do it, to just read and keep it flowing. He knew I could do or at least let on that I could or should. It was the first thing I’ve ever wanted to do just for me. Ever. Finally.

So here I am the day after, still with the glow on me. I am sitting at my desk writing this and wanting to share it with the world. I think I’m ready. I think the world is ready for me too.

I finally get the message to never give up on your dreams. To never give up on yourself.

To think back to all things that had to line up for this to have had happened the way it did is simply amazing.

I am now living in a community who cherishes their arts. I am among others who support one another. I am living with a person who loves me and believes in my dreams. I am in a town that has a beautiful library- to think I enjoy going to a library. I had never been to one until I was an adult. To get me into one and be happy there, then finding the posting for this writer’s cafe and then signing up for it right there on the spot. That’s incredible. Everything had to be lined up perfectly. Not my perfect but the divine energy’s perfect. Even for me to have the courage to do any of the above impresses me. I use to be the really quiet one who dream secretly and not share any of them.

I was out for my daily walk today. When I go out for my walks I never listen to anything other than what’s around me. I listen to the birds and to be fully aware of my surroundings. 

This morning while out I kept thinking I heard someone walking behind me. It’s winter here now and I could hear the snow, sand and salt being crushed beneath my feet as I walked on the streets. I also use walking poles to help with my posture and they make noise as well. I did not turn around as I didn’t want to disrupt my flow or fall and or twist my body. Also for some reason I find it difficult to make conversation with someone who’s walking behind you and if you don’t know them and maybe you don’t want to know either. 

But also there’s this fear element and it did go through my mind.  I could feel myself pick up my pace a bit. Not that I was in any danger, it was a residential street and I’m in a small town and it was day light.  But my heart beat was just a little stronger which could of been from my new quickened pace. And then I calmed down and thought to myself and smiled. This is how I feel about my past. 

You’re moving along in a new direction and feel confident, standing tall. Then out of no where you hear something, it distracts you and you end up putting all your focus onto the noise. The noise of your past. Sometimes I do what I did today…pick up my pace and keep moving ahead. 

Yes, I have tried to out run my past Then there are times when I stop and face it. I tell it to leave me alone. Yelling only gets me more upset but yes I’ve done that too. There are times I’l have an actually conversation with it and try to see what it’s doing. What does it really want from me. Ignoring is another one but that’s for a very limited amount of time as it gets louder. 

It’s sole purpose is to keep us alive and you’re reading this then it’s done a great job.

Accept it and thank it for doing such a great job. 

Remember its only function is to keeps you alive, it means no harm. And it only goes on facts. It is the record keeper of everything imagined or not. Real or fake, it keeps it all; just to keep you safe. 

In order to grow you have to  provide new facts for your past. Keep moving and do what you’re heart desires., listen closely to those whispers for those are your creator speaking you. 

Anyways this morning, I kept walking and eventually turned to verify a person was behind me but waited until I had to cross the street. And there was someone else and they were just walking home. as that is what we all are doing. But I so appreciated them walking home that way so I could have the material to write this piece. 

I enjoy meeting lots of people and learning something new. it’s not my perfect way of spending my day, but it’ll come. As long as I keep my eye on the prize and stay prepared, when the opportunity comes I’ll be ready.

I really need to be more discipline when it comes to writing my book. I am a little overwhelmed when it comes to editing it. There seems to be a lot and I don’t want to make a mistake. I know that is all in my head but it’s one of my fears I am trying to face. I really need to face it head on. Lord help me.

I want to share my stories with so many other people. I understand others and can help them get through the tough challenges they are facing. You are never alone.

So how come when it comes to trying to help someone else go through their struggles I can be all there is to be. But when it comes to helping myself I feel like I am alone??? Seriously.

Last night I broke down a barrier a bit with my man and I shared how I was feeling and what I really wanted from him. But considering I had to ask  for it meant I didn’t want it right then. Because I had to ask and tell him what to do. I want to be with someone who knows what to do. How to give themselves to me. I know that really sounds selfish and it is. but why shouldn’t I be with someone who is selfless. There is taking care of yourself and then there is only taking care of yourself.

I am trying to find the balance for myself, because most of my life I’ve only been giving myself away to others and now it’s time to give back to myself. To fill my own cup.

When I’m down, who do I have to turn to for support? Do we ever really need anyone? I think so. I believe we need to reach out to others for that outside support. We are after all humans who require other human contact. In what form? I’m not too sure.

So we surround ourselves with those who are capable or not to fill this requirement. I’ve managed to eliminate everyone around me. I have managed to surround myself with no one. Nothing has really changed over the years. Before I was around others but they did not have my best interest at heart and didn’t know what I needed therefore we unable to give me anything. other than heartache. Now I’ve removed myself from these people and have only one person; my man and he’s unable to do it either. Am I asking too much for someone to love me? Am I really sending out all these mixed signals to him? Or is it that he’s not capable of giving me what I really want. I have explained it in great detail and he says he believes me and totally understands but when he needs something it’s as if he totally forgets everything that has ever been discussed up to that point. i am the nagging wife…..something I never ever wanted to be a part of. I never wanted to be. How did I get here? Why do I have to be the one who constantly reminds him of what I said yesterday, last week, last month, last year……. why?

I am really talking myself out of this fantasy I’ve created so delicately. How can this happen to me again? Or is it just my mind  playing tricks on me?  How do you know when you’re with that ‘perfect’ someone? Can you ever know for sure? I think it all comes down to feelings. The passion you have for this person, the way they make you feel. It has to be like that. Now I don’t believe you have this feeling all time, or do you? I am really struggling with this. I have so much to give. Maybe that’s it too, when you want to keep on giving even when it gets rough and you really are struggling but you still want to give. Is that the answer? How long do you keep this up however if it’s never being returned? 

I am not my past, I am not the little girl who cannot speak her mind, I am not that little girl who is scared to make someone upset by just being me.I am a grown woman, the woman I always wanted to be, the one I would dream about wishing I could be with a snap of my fingers. Well my wish is here.

If I were to go back to that place and be around those people who aren’t there for me now nor were they there for me before. It would slowly kill me again..  I am here in a much better place and I love me. I have never really said that before and meant it. But it feels good and I believe it.

I can honestly say right now that I am letting go of what there was in my past and I am opening myself up to the possibilities I have right here right now. I know I am able of great things. I’ve always known it but now I can actually see it coming true.

Remembering gratitude when you feel bad. 

In my heart of hearts I believe my son knows this as well. I know he desperately wants something better for himself, but he has to prove it to himself in his own way. I tried to protect him so much but making stronger and to believe in himself. We had to. I didn’t know any better. Today I do and I am working on me.

I have a loving man in my life, who didn’t go through the pain that I had went through, thankfully because really i wouldn’t wish that onto anyone. He supports me in the best way he can and he’s really good at it. I am blessed.

I have a healthy happy son who is learning to be really independent, just like I had taught him. Although I really wanted to be a bigger part of his life, I have to learn to trust what I taught him is serving him well. We are both learning more about ourselves these days. That’s why we are like this.

I have also 2 smaller children that are a big part of my life, what a blessing to be able to pass on the lesson’s I’ve learned so far. My husbands family shows love the way I had thought I had wanted, but nothing is perfect, so I am accepting what I am given as far as love goes. Blessings.

I know I’ve been living in my past fears on this pity train. I wanted people to love me for everything I’ve been through. I wanted others to be proud of the things I’ve overcome and being able to smile in the light of day. it’s been a struggle yes that’s for sure. But for those of us who truely overcome difficult times are those who do not dwell on it and sit in the soiled mess that was created when you didn’t know any better. When you were a baby you sat in your soiled diapers, not knowing that’s what you were doing, soon though you discovered it was uncomfortable and not enjoyable at all. You learned to get out of it and move on. You didn’t sit in it nor did you go on and on about how you use to sit in it and want others around you to feel sorry for you and say what a great joy you did.. You just did it.  I know not the best description for this but it really drives home the point. I am done with sitting in a mess and wanting others to experience the pain of being in such a mess. I am ready to put on my girl panties and be me the best I am.

Wow what a difference a few hours make, I am feeling tears trying to come up, not tears of pain, or sorrow but tears of joy. when the lows are low for me the high gets a little higher. I love it. Thank you. I can smile with gratitude in my heart and joy lurking around the corner. yippee. 

I am not my used diaper anymore. …yeah I ‘ll have to work on that one. It just doesn’t sound quite right.

When you think about it I’m really not that little girl anymore and I am really happy to have finally discover this. thank you.

Good Morning Everyone.

Here I am here at the kitchen with my lap top  and a coffee and my man here with me. Things seem to be a little better, I think we are both present and aware. At least that is what I’m hoping for.

I am sore a fair bit from ……..well probably from being out of shape. I am working on changing this and that’s why I’m sore. I am walking more and more and working-which consists of me being on my feet for hours and then I’m doing yoga. Which all is good for me but it’s really different for me for now. It’ll get better the more I do it. I love how the body responds so easily.

I have to work later on today. I really do like working there. It’s such a good fit for me. I keep it moving.

Today just seems like one of those days when I can’t really pick a topic to talk about on here.

Outside it is foggy, very heavy… I can only see the houses across the street and no further. Not sure if it’s only here in town or everywhere just because we’re so close to the water. it’s a day where you put on soft music and light a few candles..maybe a little house keeping and stay warm. There’s a change in the weather coming. I can feel it. .All change is good, it’s not something to fear it’s something to embrace. And this I do. I love change. Even that that  I do not have control over I believe I do adapt fairly well with it. I love changing locations, this is why I move a lot. I like to have different experiences and meet new people. I am finally in a place where I feel like I could belong. There are so many others here who really enjoy life and see it for it can be and do it. I love that. Last night in fact we went over to a neighbours near us here and they rent out used ski equipment.. how brilliant. she’s been doing it for years and she enjoys it. We were able to outfit 4 people for under 150 dollars and it’s not really old stuff either.

I cannot seem to stay focused on anything right now. Arg.

Back again and this time I’m on the floor after finishing my meditation practise for today. Although I may do another one later on. 

The affirmation is I Expect and accept abundance to flow freely to me today. I really love it. this meditation was very powerful for me.. I could feel and see waves of light coming to me. I could feel my power. It is very powerful. I now that might sound strange to some but some of you might get it. I understand to be true that we all have great powers within us and life is all about trying to peel back all the baggage we’ve been carrying around thinking we need it for this thing called life when in fact we already have it. It’s just been buried so deep. You life is about pulling it back and see what is really. It’s all beautiful. even the stuff we think is ugly and no one would want. But that’s not true, you born this way and somewhere really soon there’s someone out there who really needs you to be just like. And chances are they’re closer than you think. The need to see you be the real you, being just who you were born to be. This will help them to peel back their layers that they are so scared and terrified of doing in order to be their true self. There’s a cycle of life and it’s more about being authentic to ourselves and exploring who we are,learning as much as possible about who we are. To me this sounds exciting to others probably fearful of removing the coat of excuses you’ve picked out oh so carefully and have been wearing ever since. I am shedding my coat of excuses and putting nothing  else on. I know I have been given free will and I plan on using it more and more for me.  I have really big dreams and I know they are on their way.. I am preparing for when they arrive. It’s not a matter of whether they do or not it’s just a matter of timing. Now I’m not sitting around waiting for them to happen either. This is why we need to prepare. it’s a blessing to not have it arrive when we think it should. You actually maybe being protected by having it not happen right now. Perhaps it’s because there’s a storm ahead and you’re meant to sit back and wait it out in safety. Or maybe it’s because there’s an even bigger dream coming your way that you’re meant to be doing. All this preparation is paying off in ten folds and beyond. You cannot even imagine what dreams you may be able to live out… Just be open to them when they arrive. Because it’s in your thoughts is simply because you’re suppose to have them and it’s on it’s way. Be ready. Learn to remove fear… 

wow, now that’s a good start to a blog for today. Namaste.

Rest In Peace is the saying when someone dies and leaves this human form…but what about when we are alive? Why do we wait until we die to actually rest?

Are we ever able to rest in peace?

This morning I began writing a piece about this because I have been searching and searching for a place that would be quiet enough so I could find some peace. But I cannot turn off the noise that is running around in my head like a kid in a panic over who knows what.

Here we go I believe and know this to be true, that we are to rest in the darkness. Why? Because you cannot always live in the light, if you did you would end up being burned or simply just dry out. You need the darkness to rest. But this is what ends up happening instead. We get scared and try to get out and or avoid it and be worried about the darkness. This could be a situation that is bothering you. A thought you are having that is causing you stress, sadness etc.

Instead we should just rest.

At night in the dark what do we do? We are to rest while we sleep.

Whoa… wait a minute is what this RIP really means?? We see it on head stones in cemeteries and use it as an expression to someone who has died. But what if we we are to Rest in Peace even when we are alive.

A plant needs to rest and will do so when it’s dark . All things need to rest.

We have compliantly lost what that means and even how to do it. Meaning we have been taught how to do so.

During a stormy time in your life when things seem dark – you should be resting in peace. Perhaps sit calmly and just breathe, trust, believe there’s a purpose and you will come out of it. You’ll come through it  into the light. But we end up getting stuck trying to fight the darkness, racing to solve the puzzle first, to get a ahead to consume all we can.

We have forgotten to rest. Stop resisting what is right now. Live in the light, that is where our attention should be. Stop giving the darkness all your attention. All this darkness we have all around us is demanding for us to stop and rest. It’s getting louder and louder and yet we don’t listen, we don’t understand what is really happening.. what it really means . It’s only going to get  bigger and louder until we have no choice but to rest because we’ll be so broken. Think about it when someone breaks down or even breaks a bone..what happens?

They are to rest.

We will get so beat up and feel so broken that there will be nothing left. We will then be searching for a darker space to hide so we can finally rest.

Picture a hurt and wounded animal they’ll wander off and hide in the shadows to rest and heal.

All this wisdom we’ve learned from all these years and have passed down and we’ve missed this one.

Wow!
But hey we’ve created this magic paper to chase we call money. And how it can control people.
That’s helpful to who??

May you Rest in Peace because resting in any other way is not really resting.

I would have to say that this is why there’s a world calling for meditation and prayer. It’s a way for people to know and to experience what resting in peace really means.

What if the RIP we read on tombstones are really a message from the other side…

First of all what do you consider a bad thing?
We all have a different view on it however when it comes to someone taking the life of another we have a tendency to pay attention. Or at least we use to.

Let’s face it we now live in a society where it is normal to see someone die.
Just for a fun fact, count how many days in a row that you have not seen someone die or who are dead?

This shows up daily for most of us. It’s all over the news. It’s in the games we play. The movies we watch with such delight. In the books we read. We discuss it with others in great debates on how it happened and our opinion on why. Some conversations whether out loud to another or one that stays inside your head sometimes comes up with possible solutions. And within those conversations is it about taking another life?

Now within those places you view death is there someone being rewarded for doing so?
Within our school systems we teach our young all about our hero’s of our days gone by. We teach them how they killed many and of course there was a really good reason, chances are we had something to save and protect. It was us against them and the strongest seemed to survived and be rewarded for such behaviour. Does that knowledge ever leave us? In case you might forget we have holidays to celebrate and we have statues to remind us. Decades and decades later we are still celebrating this.

Big question here, don’t we all want to be remembered? Don’t we all want to have a legacy? How do we define killing someone? Isn’t a life a life? Before you attack me here listen for just a little bit longer. I can hear you say, yeah but someone people are mean and evil. Sure, OK but I am more curious about the why. We all have the same amount of good and bad within us. What makes one come out more than the other?

It wasn’t too long ago that we all rallied together in a time of tragedy and it didn’t have to be a major disaster to do so. It was when we actually knew who our neighbours were and we gathered together, working together for something greater than ourselves. We interacted more with each other. Yes, I know we interact with each other perhaps more these days but there is a huge difference on interacting with someone in person then online. There is an energy in person that cannot be hidden or intercepted. When we interact online in any fashion our energy is not being directed to the other person because there’s energy in the device we use. In person you can actually feel. And this has very little to do with people being fake online. We are all seeking attention and recognition for who we are. Who we portray ourselves to be is a whole other thing, There’s something to be said for being real and it’s pretty hard to hide when you’re in person.

Anyways the way we interact these days has a lot to do with the change in what happens in our communities. 
We have isolated ourselves and are attempting to interact through a device wanting a human connection. 

To try and make ourselves feel better we will turn outward towards anything else other than ourselves. We have a great deal of difficulty facing our own fears so instead we will turn to the ones that have been created for us. We will watch the news, we will play games, watch videos etc. And what is it that you’re actually watching? This is consumption, it’s no different on what you put into your body. Does it nourish you or make you ill?

I hate to the bearer of more bad news but the violence we are currently experiencing is only going to get worse if we don’t learn to be honest with ourselves, ask for help and learn to communication and reconnect to each other. As I always say, communication, connection, collaboration and communities are the most important features to a fulfilled life. Without it we resort to other avenues to reach any of these we feel are missing. I know this to be true because I’ve done it myself through every possible addiction there is. Which one are you missing out on?

We not only need to communicate to our neighbours but first we must be able to be honest with ourselves. Forgive yourself for not knowing any better then passing it on.
You do matter and the world needs you.