There comes a certain age where you have to take over the responsibility of keeping yourself safe. Your parents did their part, the best they could and then you consumed the role. Now we do have a variety of safety measures all over; for the most part the things you see out in public are there due to safety. However we are evolving faster than we can keep up as far as safety goes. The way we get our information and the rate in which it comes to us, also the fact checkers are not there anymore and we haven’t learned how to do it for ourselves. It has become our responsibility over night almost and we’re not equipped to handle it.

These are our suggestions and tips on how to be a little more responsible with your own safety.

First and foremost you need to trust your gut. That gut feeling comes from the same place that automatically beats your heart. We have to learn to trust it. People will only share what they learned from their own experiences, they do not know your gut feeling.

Believe people when they show you who they are the first time. Again, trust your gut.

If you are going to do something that you haven’t done before share it with someone you trust. This has no age limit, and it can be either a hike on your own or with someone new. Give the information you have- when you’re leaving, and where you are going and when you believe you will be back. I know we all have devices now but things happen.

If you’re going to share something on line, is it something you’re going to be ok with living on forever. If you’re in a panic, and feeling reactive. Try to pause for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself do I really want this out there? Now if you’re responding to another comment, what are really doing? If someone says something that bothers you that badly, check yourself. I know it’s harder than it looks. People only react to what’s inside of themselves. This includes yourself and the person who posted something you didn’t like. How is this about safety? It’s the beginning stages of potential violence, reacting. Why even show up? Truthfully why even search for it?

The online safety thing is varied and the majority of us have no clue how to use it without putting ourselves in safety violation. It’s near impossible to keep your personal information off of it. As I mentioned earlier, the rate in which we interact is coming at us so fast and the amount is more than we’ll ever need.

Use common sense as a mother would say: “If it wouldn’t make me happy then don’t do it.”

I heard this question the other day, “do we lack social skills today?” Everyone is probably wondering the samething especially if you’re over a certain age. The way we communicate and interact with each other is constantly changing. Good or bad I don’t really think it matters, it’s all on how you look things. As with many things it can be used for good or bad, it all comes down to the user.

This month is all about Social. We feel it’s an important branch in our lives. It’s necessary to evolve and grow beyond what we were yesterday. It’s the way we communicate and share,.We share to others to help one another but somewhere along the way we end up using it for showing off. Which can be beneficial but again it all depends on the user.

What is being social to you? That is the better question here. We don’t have all the answers here, we just want to shine a little light on a few different things that maybe you haven’t thought of before. Our little light are just sparks and they either take or they don’t the choice is yours.

Are you an outgoing person who needs to be in the light? Are you walking into other people’s light or are you able to bring your own. This is quite common in social settings, you will notice some seem to stand out more than others. They are just more in their own light which can be authentic confidence in knowing who they are and the direction they are going in life or it’s full of, well you know what. Which one are you drawn to? Chances are you drawn to the one you are more alike. Ouch, that one hurt a little.

I myself have noticed this over the years out and about in social settings and although I noticed those who seem to have great confidence, I ended up with the others. And it’s in this very moment that I understand why. I had not yet discovered my own self worth, therefore I didn’t have much value to put into anything.

Remember no one can pull you down if they are ahead of you. In other words, if someone is trying to pull you down, it’s because they are behind you. If you want to help them, then it’s a hand up, never let anyone pull you down.

We’ve all heard that saying, you are who you hang out with. I agree with this, but I am the one who needs to change. And sometimes it’s not enough to want to hang out with different people. We have to become who we want to hang out with first. Or in the very least know the direction you want to be going in.

Are you only social online? Are you socializing in person? Do you socialize sober or do you need something?

All this month we will share different ways to go past your comfort zone when it comes to being social.

Who do we really think a hero is?

The standard dictionary defines a hero as a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

That definition can be interpreted in many ways really, so why do we always think of a hero as someone who has fought in a war, or saved a life? I don’t mean to downplay that, because YES – those people are absolutely heroes. BUT – what about the everyday person who is fighting a battle within themselves and still manages to plant their feet on the floor every morning and do what they need to do to survive?

Hero?

Yep, I’d say so.

The everyday hero often gets overlooked and, at times, we know those heroes. They are our co-workers, the single mothers, the fathers, the people fighting mental illness, the teenage mother who put her child up for adoption, and the addicts who got clean. These are only examples of what a hero can look like because there are many more heroes out there!

What about when you want to say, ” I love you,” but you’re not sure if the other person feels the same. That takes courage – that is a hero.

What about working long shifts at work in order to be able to provide for your family, even though you know it’s not enough. You secretly think you’re a loser who will never be able to sufficiently provide for your family. Well, you’re a hero. You go out every day and give it your best. You most likely put yourself last, always.

Do you know who else I believe are heroes?

People who are disabled, but still manage to get through the day, because they are glad to be alive. Hero!

People who come home to their families when they have just been told: “You don’t work here anymore.” Hero!

To the mom who looks in the mirror and wonders where that little girl went? The one who dreamed of prince charming being her hero. Well, believe me, your kids believe you are that superhero.

But why don’t we celebrate the everyday hero?

A hero is someone who has the courage that comes from within. The fight goes on inside us all. It’s the fight to believe that we have what it takes to get through the day.

It is the women who know going to work every day means she might not be there for her children when they arrive home from school. It is the mother who might miss tucking them into bed at night. Who tiptoes into the bedroom and pull up the blankets against their tiny little bodies, brushes their hair back and whispers, ” I love you” as a tear slides down their cheek because they miss them so much. Hero for sure.

To the women who go hungry, because there’s not enough food in the house. You, my dear, are a hero.

To the woman who doesn’t have children and is ok with that. You are a hero because you’re able to speak and live in your truth, even though you might face some criticism.

To the women, like myself, who have lost children and now speak to them, as angels. You are a hero. You hold your head up when all you really want to do is lay down and cry and pray.

We are all heroes, we all beat to the same heart. We all have lessons and challenges to go through, hopefully with grace. But we are all the same, we are each other’s heroes. Someone somewhere is looking to you for strength. I know it can be difficult, but try to remember that when those dark days come flooding into your life. You are a hero. Someone looks up to you. It could be your child, it could be your spouse, your parent, your colleague and it also could be yourself searching for a miracle to brighten your dark days.

Look around you and see the everyday heroes in your life. Great job everyone!

This week I don’t have a top 5, as I truly believe we are all a hero in some way, and it is up to us to see the value we truly hold. What is your definition of a hero? I would love to read your comments.

To chat, or to book an appointment for life coaching – email denisehamel6@gmail.com

I am moving to our new house next week and that is so exciting! I love moving, I love changing things up, and I love to start fresh! Another thing I am compelled to do is be a mentor/guide/coach – whatever term you want to use, to women all over the world who are going through personal struggles. Who feel alone, who don’t feel worthy, who are at a crossroads and don’t know which path to take. I have been there, and that is why I must help them to grow and tend to their own self-pride. 

Ladies we all can use a little more self-pride. So, join our community. Not only to be inspired, but to be supported in your journey with your life renovation. This is my passion and my calling because I know that life is meant to be easy and can be so much better.

As a result, learn how to let go of someone else’s beliefs. Create your own. How many of us are still hanging onto someone else’s beliefs that were, willingly or not, handed over to us and we forgot to set it back down?Are you still holding on to your past? Learn how to let go of it. We must lead by example, we don’t need a fancy career and wear money on the outside to look like a leader. No. That’s how we got here in the first place.

Your life is an example, for the next generation. To all the little girls looking up to you in awe.

You set the stage for your life. Is it one you are proud of? Do you have a plan? A direction? Does your circle of friends and family reflect your life today and the future to where you want to go?

If not, go to renovate-yourlife.com and facebook.com/renovateyourlife and learn how today. 

Take action, you’ve waited long enough. Prince charming isn’t coming to rescue you, he’s stuck in a story book. Take control of your life. If you feel like you still need more support, life coaching is also available. One on one guidance, confidential but to the point. A direct approach to your renovation process. 

Life is easy, or it should be. We are here to explore every colour in the rainbow. Every emotion, create experiences, cultivate relationships, alter your environment for your life, your way..today. 

Looking forward to meeting you soon. 

You matter and the world needs you.

The Loneliness Epidemic
Have your heard of this and do you think it’s a real thing today?
Here’s a theory I have. I believe it is a real thing and it’s scarey as heck. We are more disconnected than ever before but more disconnected from ourselves. Even though we have multiple ways of connecting, quicker, easier to just about anywhere in the world. But here’s the problem.

We don’t share authentically..and We have not caught up to the speed of technology yet.

Think back to when we use to take a picture. Typically it was a fancy thing and we had to go to a studio and have out portrait taken by a professional. We got all dressed up. Or your picture might of been taken by someone at a party, a special event. Then you had to wait for the pictures to be developed and once they came back to you. You went through them and would only showcase the good ones. 
Well we do the samething today, and we only show the good ones. Back in the day, we were living socially more open, we socialized more in person and stayed close to family etc.We knew what was going on, and what was happening in the neighbourhood.

Today this is not the case, we barely know our next door neigbours, Today we keep our doors locked and windows dark. Our families are not living near us at all and we only share time with them online or for special occasions.

I think this is why we have more crimes, more homelessness and on and on it goes. We care more in a way, and we have more ways of reaching out but less connections that are real.

We miss the perfect person behind the perfection we see everywhere. 
This is may even be why seeing a homeless person is difficult..we don’t know how to handle it and know that it could be us. They just couldn’t keep the mask up like the rest of us.

Do you feel like you’re downing in debt and can’t catch your breath? Has this been going on for a long time? Are you life lines being cut off? Do you fear homelessness? It seems most of us are living on the edge and just one paycheck away from being on the streets. It can happen to just about anybody.

I take this topic very seriously and I know there’s no quick fix but I know there is a fix. This is why I create Renovate-Your Life in the first place. To not only give hope and a pray but to help set up yourself for who you really want to become. We are not our circumstances, that is what happens to us when are striving to become a better version of us. Life is not all roses, and happy times, no, life is not a fairy tale. We need the balance to help remind us which direction we need to be going in. Life is working for us not against us.

Sometimes hanging on is all we can do but you have to be hanging onto something that is worth it. You my dear are worth it.

We have become a world in search of something but get distracted by what someone else wants me to see. This is why so many are lost. I say look up, look up to the light, look up to the eyes that are looking at you. See the smile from that one person who truely loves you. You matter and losing money is not the end of the world, it’s just an ending in a chapter of book that has many more chapters. Notice the things that money cannot buy. Start by looking in the mirror and see the mirror you are.

Good Morning Everyone.

Last night I did it. I am so excited to share with you that I actually followed through with a dream of mine. It’s a wonderful start to something magical. I actually got up in front of a crowd and read out loud some of my writings. It was incredible. I conquered a fear and came out the other side of it feeling better than I have in a very long time. I had pride for following through with a dream of mine. And it was well received. Just a small quaint group but nonetheless I did it.

Last night I was wanting to do more, I was addicted to it right then and there. I wanted more. I even mentioned once it was all over that I should hold one in my home considering they were not going to be holding another one until February or March. That seems like such a long way off.

Also just to show you how the world works in this mysterious way. A woman asked to sit next to me and I said of course. We both read our writings and when she finished I shared with her what a great job she did and that it was no mistake that she sat next to me. Out of all the people to have sitting next to me and all the tables she chose it was mine. Her writing and mine were similar by which it is of the spirit….We both believe in the spirit force that surrounds, that creates us, that holds us together rather than apart. We are all one. I was and I guess still am in shock. Amazing. I gave her my phone number and asked her to go for coffee or whatever sometime. Her story is also like mine in the fact that she is new to town as well and do not know too many people here either.

What glorious ways the energy works and in perfect timing. Love it.

I am definitely moving in the right directions of my dreams. It feels so right.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out a way to get of it as well. So glad that didn’t happen. However my ego and pain body really wanted to find any way possible to achieve this, to get out of what ‘they’ thought would be more pain. I read and re-read a few other books of mine trying to find one that seemed to make sense to me. However nothing I had wrote was making sense to me. My sentence structure and grammar were all of sudden notorious I had no faith left inside for me. All of the sudden I had nothing to present and I felt like a failure. I knew it wasn’t my true self, I knew I would have to push through it and be the true self. The one I’ve tried so long to be and this was the opportunity I’ve been waiting for so long. Understanding that everything happens when it needs to and so forth, now was the perfect time for this to happen. Eric came home and tried to get of it again sharing my despair with him. He was perfect and said I can do it, to just read and keep it flowing. He knew I could do or at least let on that I could or should. It was the first thing I’ve ever wanted to do just for me. Ever. Finally.

So here I am the day after, still with the glow on me. I am sitting at my desk writing this and wanting to share it with the world. I think I’m ready. I think the world is ready for me too.

I finally get the message to never give up on your dreams. To never give up on yourself.

To think back to all things that had to line up for this to have had happened the way it did is simply amazing.

I am now living in a community who cherishes their arts. I am among others who support one another. I am living with a person who loves me and believes in my dreams. I am in a town that has a beautiful library- to think I enjoy going to a library. I had never been to one until I was an adult. To get me into one and be happy there, then finding the posting for this writer’s cafe and then signing up for it right there on the spot. That’s incredible. Everything had to be lined up perfectly. Not my perfect but the divine energy’s perfect. Even for me to have the courage to do any of the above impresses me. I use to be the really quiet one who dream secretly and not share any of them.

I was out for my daily walk today. When I go out for my walks I never listen to anything other than what’s around me. I listen to the birds and to be fully aware of my surroundings. 

This morning while out I kept thinking I heard someone walking behind me. It’s winter here now and I could hear the snow, sand and salt being crushed beneath my feet as I walked on the streets. I also use walking poles to help with my posture and they make noise as well. I did not turn around as I didn’t want to disrupt my flow or fall and or twist my body. Also for some reason I find it difficult to make conversation with someone who’s walking behind you and if you don’t know them and maybe you don’t want to know either. 

But also there’s this fear element and it did go through my mind.  I could feel myself pick up my pace a bit. Not that I was in any danger, it was a residential street and I’m in a small town and it was day light.  But my heart beat was just a little stronger which could of been from my new quickened pace. And then I calmed down and thought to myself and smiled. This is how I feel about my past. 

You’re moving along in a new direction and feel confident, standing tall. Then out of no where you hear something, it distracts you and you end up putting all your focus onto the noise. The noise of your past. Sometimes I do what I did today…pick up my pace and keep moving ahead. 

Yes, I have tried to out run my past Then there are times when I stop and face it. I tell it to leave me alone. Yelling only gets me more upset but yes I’ve done that too. There are times I’l have an actually conversation with it and try to see what it’s doing. What does it really want from me. Ignoring is another one but that’s for a very limited amount of time as it gets louder. 

It’s sole purpose is to keep us alive and you’re reading this then it’s done a great job.

Accept it and thank it for doing such a great job. 

Remember its only function is to keeps you alive, it means no harm. And it only goes on facts. It is the record keeper of everything imagined or not. Real or fake, it keeps it all; just to keep you safe. 

In order to grow you have to  provide new facts for your past. Keep moving and do what you’re heart desires., listen closely to those whispers for those are your creator speaking you. 

Anyways this morning, I kept walking and eventually turned to verify a person was behind me but waited until I had to cross the street. And there was someone else and they were just walking home. as that is what we all are doing. But I so appreciated them walking home that way so I could have the material to write this piece. 

I enjoy meeting lots of people and learning something new. it’s not my perfect way of spending my day, but it’ll come. As long as I keep my eye on the prize and stay prepared, when the opportunity comes I’ll be ready.

I really need to be more discipline when it comes to writing my book. I am a little overwhelmed when it comes to editing it. There seems to be a lot and I don’t want to make a mistake. I know that is all in my head but it’s one of my fears I am trying to face. I really need to face it head on. Lord help me.

I want to share my stories with so many other people. I understand others and can help them get through the tough challenges they are facing. You are never alone.

So how come when it comes to trying to help someone else go through their struggles I can be all there is to be. But when it comes to helping myself I feel like I am alone??? Seriously.

Last night I broke down a barrier a bit with my man and I shared how I was feeling and what I really wanted from him. But considering I had to ask  for it meant I didn’t want it right then. Because I had to ask and tell him what to do. I want to be with someone who knows what to do. How to give themselves to me. I know that really sounds selfish and it is. but why shouldn’t I be with someone who is selfless. There is taking care of yourself and then there is only taking care of yourself.

I am trying to find the balance for myself, because most of my life I’ve only been giving myself away to others and now it’s time to give back to myself. To fill my own cup.

When I’m down, who do I have to turn to for support? Do we ever really need anyone? I think so. I believe we need to reach out to others for that outside support. We are after all humans who require other human contact. In what form? I’m not too sure.

So we surround ourselves with those who are capable or not to fill this requirement. I’ve managed to eliminate everyone around me. I have managed to surround myself with no one. Nothing has really changed over the years. Before I was around others but they did not have my best interest at heart and didn’t know what I needed therefore we unable to give me anything. other than heartache. Now I’ve removed myself from these people and have only one person; my man and he’s unable to do it either. Am I asking too much for someone to love me? Am I really sending out all these mixed signals to him? Or is it that he’s not capable of giving me what I really want. I have explained it in great detail and he says he believes me and totally understands but when he needs something it’s as if he totally forgets everything that has ever been discussed up to that point. i am the nagging wife…..something I never ever wanted to be a part of. I never wanted to be. How did I get here? Why do I have to be the one who constantly reminds him of what I said yesterday, last week, last month, last year……. why?

I am really talking myself out of this fantasy I’ve created so delicately. How can this happen to me again? Or is it just my mind  playing tricks on me?  How do you know when you’re with that ‘perfect’ someone? Can you ever know for sure? I think it all comes down to feelings. The passion you have for this person, the way they make you feel. It has to be like that. Now I don’t believe you have this feeling all time, or do you? I am really struggling with this. I have so much to give. Maybe that’s it too, when you want to keep on giving even when it gets rough and you really are struggling but you still want to give. Is that the answer? How long do you keep this up however if it’s never being returned? 

I am not my past, I am not the little girl who cannot speak her mind, I am not that little girl who is scared to make someone upset by just being me.I am a grown woman, the woman I always wanted to be, the one I would dream about wishing I could be with a snap of my fingers. Well my wish is here.

If I were to go back to that place and be around those people who aren’t there for me now nor were they there for me before. It would slowly kill me again..  I am here in a much better place and I love me. I have never really said that before and meant it. But it feels good and I believe it.

I can honestly say right now that I am letting go of what there was in my past and I am opening myself up to the possibilities I have right here right now. I know I am able of great things. I’ve always known it but now I can actually see it coming true.

Remembering gratitude when you feel bad. 

In my heart of hearts I believe my son knows this as well. I know he desperately wants something better for himself, but he has to prove it to himself in his own way. I tried to protect him so much but making stronger and to believe in himself. We had to. I didn’t know any better. Today I do and I am working on me.

I have a loving man in my life, who didn’t go through the pain that I had went through, thankfully because really i wouldn’t wish that onto anyone. He supports me in the best way he can and he’s really good at it. I am blessed.

I have a healthy happy son who is learning to be really independent, just like I had taught him. Although I really wanted to be a bigger part of his life, I have to learn to trust what I taught him is serving him well. We are both learning more about ourselves these days. That’s why we are like this.

I have also 2 smaller children that are a big part of my life, what a blessing to be able to pass on the lesson’s I’ve learned so far. My husbands family shows love the way I had thought I had wanted, but nothing is perfect, so I am accepting what I am given as far as love goes. Blessings.

I know I’ve been living in my past fears on this pity train. I wanted people to love me for everything I’ve been through. I wanted others to be proud of the things I’ve overcome and being able to smile in the light of day. it’s been a struggle yes that’s for sure. But for those of us who truely overcome difficult times are those who do not dwell on it and sit in the soiled mess that was created when you didn’t know any better. When you were a baby you sat in your soiled diapers, not knowing that’s what you were doing, soon though you discovered it was uncomfortable and not enjoyable at all. You learned to get out of it and move on. You didn’t sit in it nor did you go on and on about how you use to sit in it and want others around you to feel sorry for you and say what a great joy you did.. You just did it.  I know not the best description for this but it really drives home the point. I am done with sitting in a mess and wanting others to experience the pain of being in such a mess. I am ready to put on my girl panties and be me the best I am.

Wow what a difference a few hours make, I am feeling tears trying to come up, not tears of pain, or sorrow but tears of joy. when the lows are low for me the high gets a little higher. I love it. Thank you. I can smile with gratitude in my heart and joy lurking around the corner. yippee. 

I am not my used diaper anymore. …yeah I ‘ll have to work on that one. It just doesn’t sound quite right.

When you think about it I’m really not that little girl anymore and I am really happy to have finally discover this. thank you.