This month we are talking all things money. Where does it really go and how in the hell do we get more of? What is a budget and how to put things together. Also we’ll talk about the tough stuff. How do get out of debt and is filing for bankruptcy the only option. What happens after you do file.

It’s a new year and what better time than now to get your life back in order. Or is this really going to be the first time you will finally tell your money what to do instead of it just disappearing.
Too often we don’t know what our money is doing or where it goes. We just hold our breath until the next paycheck. But with employments options these days there’s nothing really secure even about that. Our jobs are not as secure as they use to be and things move pretty fast.

I have had plenty of money, saving, an emergency fund, investments and debt free but I have also been down and out where I was on government assistance and living off of hope and fear. Not able to purchase any gifts for Christmas. I’ve had to return items back to the bank because I wasn’t able to make my payments.

As with most things in life that seem to be embarrassing, we hide. We think we are the only one who is going through it. We think our problems will last forever, and then when we do get something good coming our way we feel fear that it may not last. It’s true nothing lasts forever but we can look in the right direction, we can set ourselves to succeed. We can set ourselves up to thrive and when we do fall down, learn from it and not allow it to destroy you. You don’t have to start all over, but you do have to start right from where you are.

Don’t be hard on yourself, together we can help one another. You are never alone. Money is important but there are more important things in life too.

Creating a plan or following the flow?

I have been feeling lost in a sense…not to drastic just feeling lost maybe or unfulfilled. Which really makes me not feel good, for a few reasons.
One I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
Two I sense I have been suckered into the plan set out from society. “They” want me to be something else.
How many of you have heard this, go to school and do well and get yourself a good job, marry well and find a house, have a few kids and maybe some day you’ll be able to retire to enjoy life.

Well I’m sorry but life is pretty much over by the time that happens.
As I’ve said before the word retirement is simply your reward system for working towards someone else’s dream.
I really believe in something more. I believe we can follow our own dreams and be happy on a regular basis and not just when we stop working. What if we were happy every day?
I know such a foreign concept, right?

Anyways today my husband and I actually sat down and made a list of things that feel good to us. OK, being real…I made the list and resisted until I talked him down. We both have done enough self education into ourselves that we do know what feels right and what doesn’t?
So I made this list of things that we both feel good about, here’s our list:

finding a deal
very few bills
few responsibilities
like to travel
access to nature
road trips
being in a resourceful kitchen
healthy food
access to a gym in our home
building things
solving things
creating things
natural light
simple maintenance with our home
helping people
encouraging people
recycle and composting
being efficient

I believe if you know your likes, and follow them because let’s face it; it feels good to be and do what you like. Once you follow your likes they will lead you to your wants.

For a very long time I have chased my wants while ignoring my likes…and it hasn’t really worked out too good. I end up getting what I want but it doesn’t make me happy, because I didn’t go it with what I liked.

Anyways after we talked down my husband’s ego because he completely defended how we are currently leaving. (because most of it really isn’t supporting our above list) But once that happened we were able to really look at the list with honesty. It’s not about putting anyone down, it really about telling the truth and that feels really good. It feels lighter.

Once you’re able to really live in your truth of what you really like, then your wants will not only show up but you’ll feel better about them too. Give it a go.

I have read a story/post about a group wanting prayers from a community for a woman who just found out that her husband has been cheating on her and that he didn’t love her anymore. Okay, granted it sucks… really bad. I’ve been there myself. Let’s be real, it’s hurts like hell.

Yes it happens, it happens more than we think. Most of us are too scared to really share it to to many for fear we look like failures. We only tell certain people, the ones who will give us what we need. For example if you’re seeking out sympathy, you would not go to a friend who is always strong and doesn’t need a man in her life to make it complete. That person would not fill that need. Instead you go to someone who will share your emotions and feed you the sympathy you’re seeking. Because really when you’re feeling down do you really want to be told to suck it up? Read more

Are you currently in a relationship?

If so is what you thought it would be? Are you working at it or are you trying to figure a way out?

All to often we get trapped in a fairly tale we were told as youngster and we carry that with us into our adult relationships. However the other person you’re with did not hear the story the same way you did if they even heard it at all.

In most relationships we have this fantasy about how we think it should be, but what if I told you that the relationship really needs to break apart in order for it work…..

Unless you have open communication and are both working at it together then you are merely waiting for the other person to understand a story that you were told even before you could walk on your own.

What if I were to tell you that we are all broken from these stories, along the way we discovered that no everyone likes the same story as you do. We slowly break away these tales and as healing goes, it forms a layer over it to protect itself. Then it gets ripped off again and again and then you’re both in a relationship where both people are broken with their wounds pretending it’s all going to be ok. Because love has entered the picture you feel hope once again that this person will finally love you the way you believe you should be loved from your story.

However two broke people only end up breaking more things. Hurt people only go around trying to hurt others. Time will continue no matter what, you have to decide what it is you really want because chances are you both are just going through the process, you share a home together, sleep in the same bed, maybe and have children together. From the outside all looks picture perfect but you are still broken and as more time goes on, you resent the other for not helping you to heal and fix your brokenness but how can they when they are broken as well.

Are you just going through the motions or are you actively working at healing one another. We can only begin to heal when we feel we have a safe space to do so.